RE: Our Wedding. . .

Robert, I was going to respond to this earlier, but my father was using the computer and the modem so I was delayed until now. The next time you rent a tux you will get more than a good-night kiss. ;) I love you! Sally might come down to El Centro, but the real reason she wants to is so she can tour Mexico. I don't know why, there isn't anything special about it. Debi, I last saw her at Thanksgiving. She came down to spend it with me. We went to a movie (I believe we went and saw The Fugitive). I talked to her on the phone Saturday. We talked for a half an hour before she had to go to work. In one of your letters you asked who was going to be her Maid of Honor. She wasn't going to have one. They were just going to get married, take a weekend off and then resume with life. More like eloping. It had only been planned for a month and Debi is in the middle of school. She is in technical training for a Dental Technician. It is kind of like your Masters only it goes 18 months straight. She is getting this so she can hold a good job to put herself through college. I am glad that you feel better about our wedding plans. There is even a better spirit that comes across in your letters over email. (Do you believe that one? You better! I can even feel different tones you carry when you write a message, most of the time. I still don't understand why you thought what you said might have angered me.) I love you. You make life so much more simple and pleasant. You said you are planning coming back a day or two sooner. A day or two sooner than the 21st or a day or two sooner than school starts. I will be leaving for Weber sometime around the 16th. That is when mom and I are renting the car and then we will be driving up, hopefully that day, but you know my mother now and I don't need to explain the indicision any more. I am going to write another letter later on to you tonight. This way you will get two letters when you get to work tomorrow. I LOVE YOU!!! Your fiancee, Wanda

Maid of Honor

Robert, The decision is made, I want Debi as my Maid of Honor. I just have to figure a tactful way to tell Sally. It is really hard because I know that she has been expecting me to ask her to be my maid of honor, kind of like you expected me to ask you to the Spring Formal. You compared Sally trying to make me feel guilty to other guys making me feel guilty for dumping them. This happened many times and it was very hard. I usually talked to John about them a lot before I did it. When I get up there you will just have to give me plenty of pep talks. Debi will also be a lot more helpful as a Made of Honor. The Made of Honor has a number of responsibilities which includes Helping the bride in and out of her gown,this isn't an easy thing. This was when I realized that Sally might not be the best choice. We were trying dresses on and Julia helped me get in and out of it. I realized that Sally might not leave the show long enough to do so. I know that you weren't hitting on the timing aspect of my relationship with Sally. I just thought it kind of ironic. I love you, I want to marry you, and I knew that shortly after we started dating. Attendants: my mother said not to give them the title, but I think that we should. This will help to ease Sally's "rejection" (I hope that she doesn't view it this way, but she might). I also have other friends that it would be nice to give a place to, such as Jenny or Julia. They have really found a place in my heart. Julia, like you, became a friend real fast. My mom said that we could ask the ushers to wear dark suit pants and long-sleeved white shirts and we'll give them cumberbuns and bow-ties. You are correct in assuming that you must only rent your tux. My dad will rent his and your father should rent his.. You may assist Mike, but you need not assist our fathers. Flowers: I am not sure. We can check with flower shops and other places in Utah. I don't think it matters that much because the money that is used will eventually be ours, whether it comes out of your pocket or if it comes from the money my parents give us. It will be money that we don't have together. I am going to reply to your other letter later, right now I have to give the dog a flea bath. She has a sudden case of them and we don't know where she played or what she got into, she generally doesn't have them. Joey keeps threatening me that he is going to give her to us for a wedding present. I just tell him that we will be living someplace that doesn't allow pets. I love you, Your eternal friend, Wanda

Breakfast

I LOVE YOU!!! Robert, I just got back from the church. My mother has been going to an exercise class there and I have attended with her. They have it on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I am quickly realizing how out of shape I am. I am going to help my mom around the house and then we are going to the gym on base and I am going to teach her some new ways to lift weights. I showed her some last time I was down here. I am sorry you were late to work today and in a sour mood. I wish I could have been there in person to cheer you up. In one of your messages you said that you heard from Sean, I will have to write to him too. I am also sorry that you had a bad experience with your parents on the phone last night. I wish I could have been there. Robert, everything will work out all right. You and I are going to be starting our own family. You can trust me, you don't have to trust them. We will work it out. Our breakfast will be kept to those who will or would attend the Temple. My side will probably be larger, but we will do fine. Don't worry about the funding for it. We can fund the breakfast with money for the reception. We will be fine. I don't want you to take on a second job so we can get married, it shouldn't be taht way. We will have plenty of money left over from the reception, even after we fund the breakfast with it. We just need to find out how many people will attend. If you don't feel comfortable asking your parents for assistance, then don't! My parents will help us plenty, and after we are married we will make it together. I love you, it will all work out. You once told me that if we are trying to do the right thing then Heavenly Father will provide for us. Getting married isn't a wrong thing, it is a good thing. I love you. He will watch out for us and He won't let us down. Let's continue to read our scriptures, pay our tithing, pray and all of the other book answers we use in Sunday School. He will look out for us if we are continually trying to do the right thing. Were you not taken care of when you did these things while you were saving to go on your mission? It will all be fine. Wedding breakfast, we will have close to 20 people. This is because when I stayed in Utah my senior year I had a lot of people look out for me and care for me. (2 people here) Chad and I became good friends, he understood the limbo I was in. I wasn't one of the cousins, but I wasn't one of the children (uncles) either. (2 people) Maria lived upstairs. She employed me. I babysat all the time, this is where my income came from. She also taught me how to sew and how to drive a stick shift. (2 people) Grandma and Grandpa will come (my grandfather might not care, he didn't go to my graduation). (2 people) Lexie helped me connect with Weber. She took me up to settle everything and even took me up to move in before I got my car. Her husband, Brad, has a good head on my shoulders and if I ever needed spiritual advice, he was the one I would go to, almost my dad away from home. (2 people) Mike and Shauna will also go. Shauna will help us put the breakfast together if you would like. She is always very willing to serve. The breakfast I helped out with was her brother's. She is very sweet and patient. There will also be my parents and brothers and sisters (7 people). I will try to fly my uncle Bob in and my grandma (2 people). They are the ones we met in California. This is my dad's mom and brother. I almost forgot Julia and Derk (2 more). Julia became my mom away from home. I realize dear that that is a lot of people (19). It is almost 20 from my side alone. This is why we will ask Shauna to help. It some ways it is burdonsome to have a really close extended family. (We will also have Mike Nollar and Debi there) The crowd that goes to the Temple will be much smaller. My grandmother (mom's mom) will go, I am unsure about my grandfather. My Aunt Lexie and Uncle Brad will go. And my parents will go. Chad and Lynne might also attend. These are the only ones that hold recommends. I am sure that all day long I will block most of the people out, even during the reception. I am so in love with you, that that will be where all of my attention is focused. Please don't worry about the breakfast. WE will take care of it together. September 22-23: As long as I can have your nights I will be pacified. I love you. I am going to send this off to you. If this sets you off and makes you upset, please respond to it right away, it is not meant to do so. I just want to make you aware. The people rack up really fast. Who will be attending the breakfast on your side? I am sure that there isn't as many. I have only heard you talk of your Uncle Dee and he seems like a real character. I wish I could be with you right now, it seems as if it is a really stressful time for you, and I don't want it to be. We should both be happy. I love you. The future Mrs. Husted Robert, I guess what I am trying to say, but haven't is that I feel that you are thinking of us as a seperate unit. We are one. I know that legally we aren't and we haven't been sealed yet, but we ARE one. We will be making choices and planning a wedding together, mostly from the money that my parents will be giving us. Please don't assume that this is the groom's sole responsibility and that that is the bride's sole responsibility. We will work on the breakfast together. It is only labeled as the groom's responsibility. I am sorry if it has come accross this way, but what ever money we do or don't save will be ours, so we are both paying for it, whether we spend a lot on the reception alone, or if we skimp a little off of the reception for the breakfast. We will do it, I have faith in us. I love you. Your fiancee, Wanda M. (Husted)

Debi and Sally

Oh Robert, I love you so much!!! You have no idea how much simpler and funner you make my life. You state the obvious which is often something I overlook and it is usually the best answer. I think our reception will be a lot more entertaining. I want everyone to have fun, including us. Julia has had plenty of experience and is very practical when it comes to money. (She is even Vice President of a credit union in Salt Lake.) I think the reception center in South Jordan will be fine, but we can still go and look at it. We won't have a strawberry wedding cake, don't worry, but what flavor would you like it to be? Please not chocolate. Yes, I am being honest when I say that I eat more when I am with you. When school is in I don't eat a lot because I am not around food a lot, I am always in class. Now I tend to eat more (because I am home more often and there is a constant supply of food). Please don't wait for me to say something to get food. Oftentimes I am hungry and I don't realize it. Also, you need to eat. If you don't, then you might get grumpy or something and I want to keep you happy. Sacrament Meeting: You will barely be my husband by 24 hours, I don't want to be away from you for even an hour. Back to intimacy: I trust you too much now: With enough encouragement you could break down my control. It is good that you have control a lot of the time, but it is the time that you don't have control that I am worried about. On our wedding night there can't be too much trust and I would prefer that neither of us controll any desires. Is it bad for me to tell you that I trust you with me? Maid of Honor: Thank you for telling me that I don't have to choose right away, that part was really stressing me out. My mother told me, "It's your decision, make it." When I don't want to make a decision I usually avoid it until it causes problems. When I was 7 years old I got 1/3 of a toothpick stuck completely in my heal. I knew that if I told my mother she would take me to my grandmother's and they would dig it out -- that would be a painful experience. I didn't know which was worse, the pain from the toothpick or the pain of them digging it out. I avoided telling my mom. A month later it got extrememly infected and my mother found out (I started limping) and took me to my grandmother's and they dug it out. You think I would learn from this. Deciding on who I want to be my Maid Of Honor is a hard decision that I have been dreading making. I know that I will sooner or later, but I don't want to. You make it sound so simple and brought up many points that were obvious that I didn't and should have considered. Thank you. Hopefully our marriage will have lots of these. I believe that we will make life easier together. It sure is harder to be apart. (By the way, my mother, chiding me about the amount of time I spend on the computer, said that we should just get married. SOON.) I love you. I talked to Debi on the phone Saturday. She is the one that was going to get married. I commented that she will have to find dates so we can double with her in the Fall. You will get to meet her. She is really awesome and it is because of her that I survived El Centro, although she will tell you that it is because of me she got out of El Centro. You are correct, Sally and I didn't become really good friends until Spring quarter (I didn't meet you until the end of Spring quarter though). I have always felt that Sally love and friendship is pending what I do or how I act towards her. She is a really neat person. I just hit it: Debi would take it just fine if I chose Sally to be my Maid of Honor. The reason Debi is still in the running is because I want her to be. She is the one who I feel closer to, that I want to share this special day with. I guess that kind of solves it, huh? Debi and I got to know each other when I moved to El Centro. We became almost inseperable when I changed my Chemistry class from 7th to 5th period my junior, her senior year. We did everything together. Her influence has always had a positive effect on me, king of like Julia's (at Weber). Sally's has always been kind of neutral. I have never done anything wrong with Sally, but I have never felt encouraged to do anything right. You are right, if Sally doesn't understand that I want Debi in that position, then her love is conditional, and unhealthy. I think that in some ways I would be rather hurt if this was the case. Not only is she possesive of me because you have come into my life, but she has a hard time if I have another friend. She always like Annette and Connie, but she always seemed to monopolizing someone. Desi had a hard time initially, but she is still excited for me and she is over that now. She knows that you aren't taking her place. I think Sally feels this way. I don't think I feel as close to Sally as Debi because Sally won't let me get close. I know that Sally has let me get closer than she lets others, but I know that there is a lot of turmoil that she isn't letting anyone see. There are a lot of troubled waters behind that bubbly face. I know that Debi and I will remain good friends throughout the year. I am not sure how Sally will take it. This is another issue. I guess I am kind of waiting to see how she takes our engagement in the fall, see if she can accept you and I being together all the time. I am not too worried about anyone stealing the stage. You and I are the centerpiece. A lot of people will be coming to see us, not Sally. She might feel a little left out. At first I felt that Sally should hold this position, but during the last week of school and the next two weeks following school I began to doubt. This is why I was a little unsure whenever we would bring up Sally. Debi and I helped each other endure El Centro. I had just moved here and she was a convert of a year. Both of us had been feeling as if we were being snubbed. We knew we weren't, but everyone already knew everyone and they didn't need anyone else in their happy little group. Debi was starting to waiver a little in her testimony and I was really beginning to hate church. The only reason I still went was for me. Debi and I started going home together for lunch (we would study right before chemistry) then we did things at night. Debi really began to trust me, and I trusted her. When I moved up to Salt Lake my senior year, she moved up to Provo. We kept in touched and visited each other quite often. I even went down there and stayed a couple of weekends. We set each other up on dates and had lots of fun. You mentioned telling Sally that I promised Debi long ago that she would be my Maid of Honor. Debi and I often said that we would invite each other to our weddings. If she had gone through and been married, then she would be attending the Temple ceremony with us. Even though Debi and I have taken different geographical courses, our spiritual courses have been the same. You commented that Sally will find someone some day. This might sound mean at first, but wait for me to explain. I doubt she will find someone, at least in the near future. Sally needs to learn to trust others. Right now she only trusts females, SOME females, and not even completely. She doesn't attach herself well and when she does it may not be a good attachment. I also don't feel that Sally does things for the right reason. She also needs more of a spiritual foundation. She likes church,but she only went the two times during the year because Connie and I were going. I think she kind of believes the church is true, but only because she has been LDS all her life. I think if she were thrown out of Utah then her faith would be severely shaken. The only reason she wants to go on a mission is because there is a good chance she will go on a foreign mission and will be able to travel. Hurting Sally: This is the one thing I don't want to do right now, but I don't want to sacrifice anything for it. I almost feel like I am being selfish. You said that Sally would bounce back. She would indeed bounce back, but only on the outside. She would never let anyone know that she has been hurt and would never resolve it. This is really a touchy issue and I am not sure how I should handle it. Bride's maids and ushers: We would only give them these "names" and have them stand in the picture of "close friends." My bride's maids will include: Sally, Jenny, Julia and possibly Emily. I would like to give my sisters the title of "Flower Girls" this way they feel special and have a part. Even though they don't do anything. My mother will make them special dresses and th
ey will feel on top of the world. My mother just came in and asked, "are you on there again? This is worse than a horny woman." My parents think this is very humorous and refreshing to watch. They remember the two years they were engaged. They are also happy to see that I am so wrapped up and committed to someone and that the feeling is mutual. I think the four guys should have tuxes (the men in the main wedding party) and a special dress done for the Maid of Honor. Everyone else can just choose dark suits or dresses in the wedding colors. It is common for us to send swatches (pieces of material colored in the wedding colors) to the "extra" attendants and members of the family so they can match the rest of the wedding party for pictures. It IS understandable if someone doesn't have the funds for a new dress, in that case they will still be able to find something that matches well. The dresses Desi and Cherstin and Felicia have will match, but it will be as if they weren't family and were buying new dresses. My mom will help make Debi's, but this is because she is THE attendant. You said that you will wear a tux and that this goes without saying. My father didn't wear a tux. Their wedding was very small and very intimate. After all, my dad was in the military. Find the slush recipe and we will use it. I want you to feel like you are included with the planning and can have things that you want to. I am not partial to any particular slush recipe. Graduation: I want you to attend you Bachelor's graduation. This will give me the option of attending the graduation ceremony for my Bachelor's degree. Right now my Bachelor's seems so far off that I don't really care much. My feelings might change in the future though. I am glad that both you and your dad will teach me how to ski. I think it will be fun learning, mostly because I will be with you. If you are willing to try country dancing I am willing to try skiing. Sally and Debi: 1. Where did I meet them: Sally: at the front desk Debi: at church and chemistry in El Centro 2. How long have you been friends: Sally: closely, 1 quarter Debi: closely, 2 1/2 years 3. How often do you see each other? Sally: during school, I saw her a lot. Debi: when we were in the same city we saw each other a lot, now we visit when we can and just enjoy talking or going to a movie. 4. Who was the best friend TO me? I usually don't think of this. Is that wrong? I am usually more concerned about how I am treating others than how others are treating me. If I think about it, Debi's friendship has been more selfless and giving, Sally's has taken from me, but nothing that I haven't freely given. 5. Who will still be friends with you after we marry? I know that Debi will, I am unsure about Sally. When I told Sally that I wanted to marry you she almost went into a shock. She couldn't believe that I was doing this. She told me that I was going to desert her just like everyone else. When I told Debi she congratulated me. She was very happy that I found someone that I wanted to spend the rest of eternity with. I feel much better with the spirit that Debi brings about. 6. What do your parents say? They tell me that it is my decision and that I need to make it. They are on the reverse end of you. They know Debi, but they don't know Sally. My mom won't even help me figure out how to make a decision. You have done this for me. Thank you. I know that need to enlist Heavenly Father's help and I hadn't thought of this. Surely he knows how to ensure my happiness better than anyone. I should have thought of this but was too confused and had avoided the subject until I couldn't think straight about it. I love you. 7. What do *I* want the most? I feel it best to have Debi hold the position. I feel closer to her and I feel that she would share this day better. 8. What are the advantages of choosing one over the other? Choosing Sally: feathers won't be ruffled and future communication would be helped. Choosing Debi: The above reasons listed in the letter. We will talk about this later. Thank you for helping to put my mind at ease. I love you. We will talk more about this after I pray to confirm my feelings and thoughts on this issue. I will write more tomorrow, my mind was heavy with ideas, but is now beginning to clear up. I love you. Wanda

Letters

Robert, We got your letters today. Desi hasn't been home to read hers yet, but Cherstin and Felicia were very excited to get mail. I don't know if Felicia has read it all yet, I might end up reading it to her so she can comprehend it, you better not have said anything bad about me because they will tell me and I will find out. I am going to write Rob a letter now and reply to yours. I love you very much. Have fun at work. Your Fiancee, Wanda Marie (Husted) (You said that you like the sound of this and asked if I do. I do very much, I think it fits well.)

attendants

Robert, You've GOT to know that I was kidding about blueberries and strawberries. Although how would you like a strawberry wedding cake? This was suggested to me yesterday. *laugh* I don't think we will eat that much either. My mom said that she could have cared less for food. She said if it hadn't been for her aunt and grandma, they wouldn't have had anything. i LOVE YOU TOO!!! Yes we should go to Sacrament meeting. I would prefer to go to a ward that we really don't know anybody in, this way we are still kind of secluded from the world. If we do this, can we go home after Sacrament meeting? Intimacy: I don't think we will have any REAL problems in this area. (You said my mother said that we might be tense at first. [Did you follow that one?]) I already trust you in this area. Right now it is too much, but on our honeymoon night it will be fine. Attendants: the reason it may seem I am avoiding this is because in a way I am. I think it would be best if we went with our original plans (Best man, Maid of Honor and the others for pictures only). My problem is I don't know who to choose. Debi is to me like Mike Nollar is to you. But then I have Sally who is here presently. Debi has ALWAYS been there. We are still close and can always get together and feel just as comfortable if we haven't seen each other for a year or two. I have a feeling that Sally will back off after we get married. She won't be as trusting in me and I know that in some ways she kind of resents you. I wish that it weren't the case, but it is. I think that asking her to take part in the wedding will help ease some ruffled feathers, but I would much rather have Debi in the picture of us and our attendants (Best Man and Maid of Honor). I feel as if I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and I have to make a decision. It isn't an easy one. I asked my mother about 2 Maids of Honor. She said "no go." She is right, it is an honorary position for A person. I would rather it was Debi, but I don't know what I am to do with Sally -- Do you have any suggestions? Pictures: We will have Temple pictures of those who attended the ceremony, We will have lots of pictures of you and I, pictures of us and extended families (this will probably be a shot or two, it is difficult to do with lots of people. The only reason I wqant to do this is because Lynne had it done for her Wedding and it is nice to have around.), pictures with our immediate families, and pictures with our closest friends (these we will name our groomsmen and bridesmaids, but just ask that they dress in dark suits and for the females in the wedding colors.). Then there will be the cameras that we can arm people with to take candid shots of people throughout the reception. The punch you talked about sounds like the average slush. It was funny because while I was reading this part of your message my mother commented that we could have a slush for a drink. There are lots of similar recipes and my mother has several so don't worry about it unless you are really particular about THIS slush. Graduation: I am glad you want to go to your graduation. My high school graduation was a lot of fun because I sat with the band and played "Pomp and Circumstance" until the last go-round when we ran to the end of the line before marching out onto the field. It certainly created a memory. Since we will attend your graduation it might give me the option of attending mine. I probably won't want to. I want you to though. Your degree is really important to you and me, and I want to see you receive it. I love you. Skiing: This will be a lot of fun. I am sure we will enjoy it originally because I love to try new things. I can't guarantee that I will still want to after the first few times, but my mind is open, who knows. You are the first person to get me to even try it since Derk took me to the top of Solitude and told me "go." Some things I am just not very coordinated at doing. Camping: I hope that we get many chances to go camping, not just in New Mexico. We will have a lot of fun. Well you went back to lunch so I am going to go back to my reading. I have a lot to do before I get back up to Weber, at least 3 books. I love you. The future Mrs. Husted (that's me, Wanda) PS. If you can think of anything to do with Sally Please tell me. This is really beginning to stress me.

more reception stuff

Robert, I thought you weren't going to send me as much mail as you sent me yesterday? You are getting pretty close. I love you, and I love all of the mail I am getting. This is certainly different than Weber because I have time to write, I don't have to rush off to work or class. Sometimes I have to leave so I can do the dishes or run an errand, but those can usually wait, and if they can't then I can just save the letter and come back to it later. In a previous letter you said that when it comes to money I will just have to trust you. I don't think we will have a problem. I already do. If I start to worry or wonder just say, "Wanda, trust me." Reception: I am glad that you are a lot less stressed. Please let me no if there is anything else I can do. I want to make this easy on you. I think a lot of it will be easier in the Fall when we are together and can plan face to face. I want US to be able to put most of it together in the Fall, or at least know exactly what we want. I will have to remember to allow a little leeway for unexpected suprises. (Is that redundant? Most suprises are unexpected.) Announcements and invitations: No, I don't think anyone will be offended if we don't invite them to the reception. They will probably just assume that we didn't have a reception, a lot of people don't, they just elope. Simplicity: You said that you prefer it. In a way this is where eating dinner becomes an advantage. We are having more of a dinner-dance than a reception. This way it is kept small and intimate and we don't have to stand the whole time. A reception is where the couple stands in a line and receives their guest most if not all of the time. We want to party and dance with our guests. By having a dinner the guests usually come at close to the same time. This way we can get out of there sooner. Open house: ask you mother about this one. She will know what your relatives and friends are more apt to doing than I will. Julia, Derk's wife: No, she didn't have a temple wedding and still hasn't been to the temple. However all of the weddings/receptions she helps with are LDS Temple Weddings. By the way, we probably won't have 200 people, but somewhere around there and I think the cultural hall we have chosen will be fine. If it eases your mind any we can look at it again. If you don't think it will work than we can use my grandparents ward. I just don't like the outside. The inside can be done up really pretty. The building was dedicated by Brigham Young to stand until the millenium. Maria, Jim's wife, mother of the two little boys: She will probably watch the kitchen which means she will enlist someone to wash the dishes. Temple pictures: Those who attend the Temple Ceremony are involved in these pictures. The other people will be in the pictures before/during the reception. Alexis, Brad's wife: They are the ones that got married in the Temple. Lexie, not unlike your mom, takes offense to things easily, but she is also very sweet, not unlike your mom. Lynne, Chad's wife: They were the ones that were just recently married. Chad was the youngest. He is ten years older than me. We were going to attend SLCC together, but I dropped my classes that quarter. I tutored him in math though. We had lots of fun. You keep talking about our attendants and who wears tuxedos. I am going to address this issue in my next reply to you because you ask about it, but I will tell you this: You should wear a tux, our fathers and whoever attends you. I am going to get started on the next message. I love you. Wanda

Yesterday's replies

Robert, I LOVE YOU!!! I will have AOL throughout today. I will probably have it tomorrow, but I don't want to risk it. I am going to use CompuServe once I figure it out. I need Dad here to show me his codes though. Dances: When I told the guy that I was a sophomore in college it wasn't to play better than thou. I got more of the brunt because he thought that I was at least 16. I just found out differently. My mom told me that AOL was saving him money while I was here and so he isn't going to cancel it until AFTER I leave. Goody. You are my best friend as well, but I wouldn't have had any fun if I had gone to the dance. I love you. And dear, it will probably be ME stepping on YOUR toes, I do already and we aren't even dancing. I love you. Planners: I think it will be a good idea to keep the info in both of our planners. We both have assignments that we will need to do and this way we can remind each other of tasks that need to be accomplished (You will probably remind me more than me reminding you). Honeymoon: One of the reasons my mother wrote you was because I asked her to. You seemed so stressed about this in particular. No I am not mad at you. I love you and my heart yearns to ease the stress that yours is feeling. I asked my mom to write about her honeymoon. theres was bombed but they still remember it and even laugh about it. I hope she did this well. WWII: Yes the President at the time was FDR. The only reason I know the answer to this was because Joey knew and loved showing off. It is the politics of history I really don't know. I know what happened and the events that took place, but ask me times and who was President and I really don't care. Food: My mother suggested cooking Pollo and Carne Asada. It is a marinated beef or chicken. It was a REALLY popular dish when we first moved down here. I really like the Pollo (chicken) Asada. Mom said that when you come down in December she will fix some for us. this way you can decide if you like it or not. An alternative would be strawberries and blueberries. Graduation: Yes, I think it would be a great idea for us to go to Utah for your graduation. Especially if this is one of those self-esteem boosters. I think we should go. It will help to make you feel like you have accomplished something. After all you still have more schooling you are going to do. I think it is a MUST!!! I am going to send this off and hit the messages that you have written today. I love you Wanda

From Mom

-Robert, Mom wants to write a letter to you. Here she is:

Robert---- Are you male or what???????!!!!!!!!!?!!?!?!?!??!?!? I think most of the stress that you are feeling right now is of the unknown and wanting to do it right but ascertaining what "right" is. I could be wrong, but I think that this will all come to a head in a few day as you and Wanda come to some definite conclusions. I think that as soon as you feel more settled and on a united path the stress will become manageable. Sometimes the groom and family can feel that they are not even players in the show....we certainly don't want you to feel that way....your concerns and feelings about this day are just as important as Wanda's. I suspect that part of the problem is that in desiring to find out the "right" way to do things and to have it be special that you and Wanda have gone off looking and listening to what others have to say, what they have done, and what they would suggest....now you have lots of information and sometimes that is the biggest problem!!! Now it is time to weed through it all and work together to find what it is that you both want. There really isn't a "right" way to get married----EXCEPT IN THE TEMPLE!!!!! At this point what you and Wanda decide should be based on what is financially prudent [NO DEBT!!!!!---excuse me---but that is my motherly responsibility and instinct coming out----guess you'll have to get used to that!!!! (WINK)], your united and personal tastes, and desired outcome. Yes, there will probably be some things that would be good ideas i.e. you in a tux (not mandatory but certainly lends to the unique and special feelings of this day) and it probably would be nice to have your best man and the fathers be in tuxes as well. I think you might also consider flowers for the bride (WINK) and even coursages and boutenierres but those can easily be worked into the scheme of things so that costs are kept to a minimum. It isn't something that has to be decided right now and if you guys keep attendants down then it becomes even less of a burden. I don't think that you will have to worry about it appearing "cheap" if what develops is something more intimate and personal...and that can evolve into something quite elegant and memorable or casual and personal, depending on your mutual desires for the celebration of this most blessed event.. I know that this isn't my arena---but I told you that you'll have to get used to this---this counsel even applies to the honeymoon!!!!!!!! To be quite honest----it wouldn't matter where you go or what you do...you probably won't take that much advantage of that kind of scenery anyway!!!! You'll have to explain this to Wanda as it is lost on her but I'm assuming that you get what I mean and will be able to help her in this lack of knowledge and experience when the time comes!!! You may want to consider your first night someplace nice---but trust me---even if it isn't, it won't matter, it'll be one of those tales that gets enjoyed throughout the years and gets better and better. Also---the chances are pretty good that that night will not be everything you anticipate (or Wanda for that matter) as you will both be exhausted and things will be somewhat tense....not that you can't plan to try and eliminate that as much as possible. But the real enjoyment will come as the whirlwind settles somewhat and you are both able to relax. I don't know...everyone and every situation is different but I have heard of lots of brides who have had "Aunt Flow" come unexpectedly and there are lots of grooms and brides that fall asleep only to find that the night has passed uneventfully...I know...I doubt that this will apply to either of you...but don't be surprised if things don't go as expected. Now Wanda wants me to relate something from a personal side...When Rich and I were married he was stationed at Shaw AFB in S.C. My folks were in Germany, and my grandmother (Wanda is her namesake) and Aunt Juanita gave me a very, very, small open house. Rich had driven out to Utah and we were married in the Manti temple. By the time that we got back to my grandmother's home (in Springville) it was late afternoon. We had anticipated that we would spend the night in Cedar City, on our way back to S.C. By the time the open house was over and we were packed the car was so full that there was no place for me to sit. We crammed in anyway and headed out. We got to Spanish Fork---knew that we couldn't go any farther and so found a hotel. Now it was BYU graduation week and there wasn't anything available except for a dive called Hubbel's. Rich rented the room ($7.50 ---that kind of dive!!!) and then when we were going to the room he went back to the clerk to make sure it had a TV!!!! I can guarantee that the tv wasn't even turned on. I can also gurantee that it didn't matter that the place was a dive. I was so grateful to be in his arms and to be together that the furnishings (lack of) were not even noticed (not too much anyway) and through the years we have laughed and enjoyed the special intimacy that comes from really good memories and our first night together. I know that Rich died a hundred deaths but it really wasn't important except that it has become something unique to us and maybe even a hallmark of our life together----laugh and make lemonade when life hads you lemons and "united we stand and divided we fall." The rest of our trip to S.C. was interesting too, but what was important was that we were together...if you and Wanda spend nothing but a few days really getting to know one another and do a few things that you mutually enjoy or have a common goal---it will be memorable. I hope you know that you can really talk to us about these things. We've been where you are now and we have every desire that this be a wonderful and memorable occasion for you both. You'll never get married again (I hope) and as important as this day is, we wouldn't want it to be marred by unwarranted stress about unimportant things!!!! Well, I could go on and on...don't mean to take up your time...but I would counsel you to relax and enjoy the process. Make this something that you and Wanda want, be considerate of families, but be true to the Lord and yourselves first, always. If you are, you will always know happiness, security, and peace...I promise. Love, Mom

Receptions, again.

Robert, It has occured to me that maybe this is coming accross as more formal than it really is. I know that the planning makes it seem this way. The reception: You, I, our parents, and maybe the best man and Maid of Honor greet our guests at the door. We have a nice little dinner and dance afterwards, my father (and maybe yours, if he wants to) might say a few things to send us off after a "toast" from Mike Nollar. We than throw the bouquet and garter and leave on our merry way and live happily ever after. I don't want the reception to be anything elaborate. Kind of like the Bridal set we picked out. I want it to be pretty and nice yet simple and elegant. I want to have a lot of fun with it and I think we can. It is just the planning that makes everything seem overdone, but it should be done just like trying on different rings until we get a taste of what we want. Honeymoons: I talked to my mother about this. She said even now, after they have more money, she would be happy spending the first night somewhere nice and then go and camp in Southern Utah to see the old Indian Ruins. Robert, if this is what we did I would be happy. The only thing that I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO HAVE is you. Nothing or noone else. Announcements: These should have pictures (because we would both want them) and we will have separate cards to invite guests to the reception dinner. If we keep this smaller and intimate (approx 200 people) than we will be able to do a lot more. It won't be as elaborate, but it won't be stuffy either. My parents will take care of planning an open house and inviting the guests from El Centro, which would probably consist of my ward and my dad's office friends. We could have a small gathering up in Anaheim so that your relatives and close friends could celebrate. These are pretty basic plans. I want to know what you think about them. If there is something you disagree with or particularly don't like, tell me and we will work it out. I love you. My mother just came up with a good idea for our reception menu, but I will wait until the next message to expound because you asked what we will eat in your last message. We won't even need a caterer - cost-cutter!!! Aunts: Julia - She will be best to help us setting up the reception area. She will make sure the tables are set up, the cake is where it's supposed to be, etc. Maria - She has the dishes to use. She also has all the serving sets, crystal glasses, plates, etc. This is another cost-cutter. She already volunteered their use. Shauna - her brother got married recently. I helped her set up the breakfast. If we decide to do it ourselves, we can talk to her. My mother said that the people that will attend the breakfast are those that do attend the Temple and others that would attend the Temple, such as you mom, Mike, Sally, my grandma, etc. When my parents got married the got to the Temple at 6:00 and left at 2:00 (after Temple pictures with the family and attendants). She said that the Temple luncheon also is a way of saying thank you for enduring this with us, I know your hungry, come eat. She even commented that taking everyone to Subway would be appropriate. A lot of times a room is rented in a restaurant. We can do this with the money saved from the reception also. We will talk more about this in the fall. Alexis (Lexie) - If you want we can place the disposable cameras on the tables. We can also give Lexie a few roles of film and have her take some candid shots. She doesn't do a bad job. Then we can put her in charge of developing them. Lynne - She is really gooed at being social. Her wedding was really elaborate. I am not sure what we could use her for, but I am sure something will pop up. I talked to my mother about dress. What would you say if you, my dad, your dad, and Mike Nollar wore a Tux? The Maid of Honor will wear a specific dress. Your ushers wear dark suits and we can give the rest of the attendants swatches and they can find a dress that matches, who knows, they might already have one. I am going to send this now. I love you, Wanda

Cancel The Order (read me first)

Robert, This will all make sense when you read the first message. Quick note, I just figured out how to download a file. I downloaded the file that AOL wouldn't let me receive and then I can read it in DOS. Don't send it again. I love you. I won't be able to write much today. We are going to go to San Diego. I love you, Wanda

I love you!

Robert, Once again I cannot receive your full reply. AOL is very limited in the space it will give me and I don't know why. My dad isn't going to get it after tomorrow. I will have to figure out ComuServe and when I do I will mail you another letter. I love you. Can you please send your reply to marriages and stress one more time? If you don't have it, I can forward it to you. I don't know why AOL has so much trouble. Meanwhile I can reply to part of your last letter. We are going to have a professional photographer. My parents only have a couple slides of there Wedding Day. My mother regrets not even having a stranger take more pictures of them. I have only seen one and it was the day after in someone's home. I want our pictures to look nice. We will have to look into photographers in the fall. They can take our announcement pictures too. You did say that you wanted pictures didn't you? This will be a little more expensive but it is the Bride's family that takes care of the announcements. I am not quite sure what to tell you about your ushers. Sunday I can get my mother to talk with us on the phone for a bit. This way we can talk to her together. My mother needs to know about how many people we plan on inviting and how many people your parents will invite. She said that this determines a lot (ie formality, caterer, attendants (our line), etc). IF you can, find out before we talk to my mother. Budget - I realize that the sole responsibility of the groom's family is upon your shoulders. Please relax a bit. We will include these things in the budget that my father is allowing us. I already consider us to be together, not separate. While we are up at Weber in the Fall we should plan most of the wedding. I will have the budget limits (this won't be known until we know how many people will approximately attend) and we will plan the bulk of the wedding. The responsibilities that have been placed upon you can also be taken care of inside this budget if we are frugal and cut our costs, not to the point that it cheapens the wedding. I am going for practical, not cheap. Don't worry so much about messing up the honeymoon. It will be fine. I know that it sounds like I am telling you not to stress, but I don't want you to. This is supposed to be fun. Don't worry about what everyone else has done or what everyone else wants us to do. My mother told us early on that all we needed was a motel room. I am sure she's right. Robert, I don't need anything extravagent to make me appreciate you, I already love you. I like DJ's better than live bands because you have original music, with a variety of singers, practically mistake free. I just have no idea of how to go about auditioning them. This is something else we can do in the fall. If you want we can ask him to play Phil Collins. Whenever I listen to him I think of you, honest. Just promise me that there will be no Mariah Carey. She annoys me, Phil Collins is good for easy going (almost boring) music. I am okay without a groom's cake. I just wanted to make sure you didn't feel left out. Our Wedding cake won't be too big, I want it to be left kind of simple. The guests will be served squares from a separate sheet cake. This way we can have all the fun with it. Just don't mess up the top tier, that is saved and frozen for our first anniversary. The garter belt will be just above the knee. You wouldn't be retrieving it in public if it were any higher. That is all for now. I love you. Please send the other parts when you get a chance, Love, Wanda

Computer Answer: Part I

Robert, I love you very much, but please stop stressing. The more you stress the more it makes me stress because I don't want you to stress. I promise that we will be fine and everything will work out. Loans: Don't worry. We will be fine. I don't think that you will need to take out a loan. I will find out how much my father will fund us. We will be able to pay for everything. If we can't, then we'll cut it. I love you, please don't worry. Ushers. I sent you another message concerning them. If you are still worried please let me know. I will talk to my mother as you requested and she will let me know all about it. Right now she is busy with other things. I understand that we dont' have an overabundant supply of money. I promise again that it will all work out. Robert, I love you. You have told me that you love me, this is what really matters. You are correct in assuming that Heavenly Father will help us out with our righteous goals. If we are honestly trying to do the right thing, everything will fall into place and will work itself out. We are His children. He wants the best for us. My earthly father has never let me down. He has always supported me in my decisions and has always made sure that I have had enough. As long as I have trusted in him he has provided for me. Our Heavenly Father only needs our faith in Him. He loves us and wants us to be happy. He even has more power than my earthly father to do so. It will be fine. Computers: Yes, I really did know MHZ. I knew what it stood for and what it meant. Sometimes I have to stop and think about things like this, but in time it will come naturally. I like the fact that you operate under the assumption taht too much information is better than too little. It generally is. Classes: I usually do like the classes I have, History included. I just learn that I don't have the nack for some things. My dad was talking about Pearl Harbor (I guess that someone didn't know what it was) and he asked me some questions. Suprisingly enough I knew the general facts. I just didn't know others, such as "who was President at the time?" I love you and will respond to the other part when you send it to me. You future wife, Wanda

Re: Fwd: Re: Computers

Robert, I did scroll completely to the bottom. It stopped at : ()-main and some of the explanation. Try to send me the whole thing again and I will see if the computer will accept it this time. I love you. Wanda

More Wedding Stuff

Robert, Don't Stress!!! Bridesmaids and Ushers: Because none of the guests get to see the actual wedding we are having a reception. The purpose of having a ushers and bridesmaids is the smae reason we are having a line. Our guests will have a chance to meet us, our parents and our closest friends that we will choose to attend our line. I think it will keep it very nice if you want to wear a black tux and have your groomsmen wear dark suits. It is up to you. This idea seems to have you very stressed out because it keeps coming up. The decision is yours dear. Whatever you want or feel most comfortable doing. However, give Jenn the choice of choosing a black dress or a dress in the wedding colors. Reception -- formal vs. casual: Are you trying to influence my decision? "formal or casual/fun" I think we will be able to meld these two together. I would like the atmosphere to be more formal, but I want it to be a fun time. I think we can accomplish both of these. We can have a DJ for the dancing part, what type of music do you want played? When and how are we going to choose a DJ? Of course we are going to do the cake ceremony, I think that will be a lot of fun. Do you want a groom's cake? I am not quite sure what they are for. My mom said that a lot of times the groom feels left out because a cake is made "for the bride" and so a cake is made for the groom. This is also up to you. We will also throw the bouquet and garter. How high up should I keep the garter? Practicality: We should set on a budget and stay within it. I have asked my dad to give me an exact dollar figure he is going to allow me to spend. We will not tell my mother this. We will keep the reciepts and estimates of everything purchased in my planner. This way we can alot a certain amount of money for each service we require (ie baker, caterer, DJ). The reason we will keep it in my planner is because my planner has become my sedding journal. It has dates already set when things need to be accomplished by. The Temple: You are correct, the Temple will be the best part. This is the most important part of the day. It will also make us the happiest. Our reception is what we are using to allow everone to help us celebrate our finding one another. By the way, we need to find out an estimated number of people your parents are planning on inviting, how many they think will attend, how many you and I will invite/attend and how many my parents will invite/attend. Anyone my parents will be inviting, aside from family, will probably wait for the open house in El Centro. I am expecting this to be REALLY simple. Just a get together in the gym with punch and cookies. Kind of like after a farewell for a leaving missionary. We, mainly you, will need to decide on what we want to do in LA. Temple Breakfast: It depends on what time of day we get married. There is a breakfast before the Temple or a luncheon after the Temple. If we attend the Temple super early, than we can wait until after, if we don't have it until late morning I would think before would be okay. If you don't think your family will help in this area, we can enlist my family to help. They would be glad to. We won't need too much frosting on our cake. I usually don't like too much. I think it can get sickening if it is too thick, some people don't feel this way and the frosting is all they are after. Our reception will be plenty of fun, for everyone. I want you to enjoy it, I don't want you to be stressed. Honeymoon: I don't want to wait until June to go. Did you know that in ancient Hebrew culture after a man got married he was released from the military and all civic duties for one year. He didn't have to work or do anything. That is because the first year of marriage is the crucial one. I am not asking for a full year, that is out of the question. What I am asking for is that we have time when we are first married to be alone and really get acquainted with one another. I would rather it not be crowded, but I am sure that there will be people no matter what we do, unless we do as Scott Knell did. I would rather our honeymoon is practical. This way we can have SOME money when we are first married. Plus I would feel guilty if we went expensive. I have always had a hard time spending money, especially for wants. I figure that our honeymoon is more of a need though. I would rather we took it easy. I think we discussed this over the phone Sunday. I want to be able to sleep in an extra hour when we are awake, rather than hurrying off. I do realize that some things will have a time when we are supposed to be there. I am flexible as long as I have plenty of time to be with you alone. You can call it selfishness if you want, but our honeymoon time is for US, no one else. Nice lodgings vs. nice scenery: I will leave this one up to you. Both are nice. I will be happy wherever I am if I am with you. I will forgo scenery to be with you, but I will also forgo nice lodgings to be with you. We could combine it. The first night we could stay somewhere really nice and then go somewhere really pretty. It is up to you. Don't worry about this either. we will be happy. If you aren't happy, tell me and I promise I will do my best to change it. I love you. I don't think I am expecting our wedding to be a storybook wedding. I think that this would be an unrealistic expectation. I don't expect to have everything and even what we do have I don't expect it to come off perfectly. I don't think I bend well for unexpected catastrophes and so I will expect everything to go awry, this way I will be really happy and impressed with our wedding. I love you too. We will have fun, no matter what kind of wedding or honeymoon we have. Please be patient. I promise that everything will soon fall into place. I love you and I am anxious to spend the rest of my life with you. Your fiancee, Wanda

Don't stress over the wedding!!!

Robert, Don't stress over the wedding, OR the reception for that matter. My mother's comment on just having a get together was because she thought that that might be all I wanted. I want more than that. So does she. I think that she wants it more elaborate than I do though. She knows what money her and my dad have to spend and what they don't have to spend. They are planning to fork over more than I was going to ask them to, I guess they have kind of been saving for this. My dad told me that he has some money stashed away that my mother doesn't know about, this way everything will be possible. My dad always keeps a little money elsewhere and it is dipped into for emergencies and unexpected events or needs. This way my mother forgets about it and doesn't spend it. My mom may get a little crazy when planning for the wedding, but my dad will keep her down to earth. My mother and I think in different ways (you may have gathered this already) and therefore we plan differently. It will all work out. Your mom and dad: Right now they don't have any responsibilities that I can think of other than attending. You said your sisters' weddings were simple affairs. Ours will be simple also. It may now seem so because of all the decisions we are making, but I am sure your sisters went through just as much decision-making as we are having to do, you just weren't involved in it. You said Julie held the celebration at your parents home. Correct me if I am wrong, but this will be the only major difference. She still had to send announcements and figure out who to invite, what dress to wear, even if it wasn't a full blown gown. Our will be nice. Just as you said the reception is mainly for the Bride, and this is why the Bride and her parents are usually the ones that plan and pay for it. Extra relatives -- mine mainly: They are willing to help run the show. For this I am grateful. If it weren't for them, then I would be stressed out a whole lot more. My Aunt Julia has been to and helped prepare for many weddings (mostly receptions after a temple marriage). It was her idea for us to cut costs on our reception and my parents to give us the remaining money. I like this idea. Julia had a friend that she helped decorate for. They saved so much money that they could make a downpayment on a home. Julia is a real cost-cutter and I think we should utilize this ability to the max. Julia will probably be the only Aunt that I ask to help plan for things. Most of the others will be able to help make things run smoothly, this way *I* won't worry or stress so much. You shouldn't worry or stress either. This is supposed to be fun for the both of us. My parents had a temple marriage. All of her family was in Germany so they didn't have a celebration. Theirs was more of an elopement. I think this is a reason both of my parents want to make our wedding celebration special and memorable. You had said that you had gotten the impression that Scott Knell had gone up to the cabin and ended up almost bored, wishing that they had done something else. I think our reception is the same way. I want it to be a memorable occasion for the both of us. It will be one of the happiest days in our life, and the first day of our life together. You are looking forward to and planning for the first NIGHT of our life together. Both of which are important. We will enjoy the reception. We shouldn't have unrealistic expectations though. Things will NOT come off perfectly. There will be problems that will be stressing me the day of the receptions (ie the cake falling over when we cut it.) but they will all be funny in time. Crisis + time =humor. The only other people that had a Temple wedding were Mike and Barb (they got divorced) and Brad and Lexie. Others, in time attended the Temple later. You said that you are resisting a few things because we seem to be trying to pack in a whole wedding extravaganza into a reception. I don't think so.. At least I don't see it. Would you mind explaining? The book my mother got will help us a lot. It is from Deseret Book and it is called the "LDS Brides Guide." It is specifically focused on a reception following a Temple Marriage. In the fall we will look at it together. I think it will ease your mind in a lot of ways. I also think you are stressing more than I am. Did I say something to make you stress. You seemed fine before this letter. Until then, DON'T WORRY!!! Robert, I want us getting married to be a happy time. I don't want stress to detract from the joy I feel in being able to become your eternal wife. I love you. Tell me what I can do to ease any stress you are feeling. Would you rather I just planned it, or is it less stressing to involve you in the decision? THE most important issue is that we are getting married for time and all eternity. I love you and you love me, we WILL be happy. I won't allow you any other choice. I will do all that I can to make you happy, which includes reducing wedding stresses. Don't sign up in the Marines to go to boot camp. I didn't say yes so I could plan a reception. I love you and I want to be with you always, more than 3 1/2 years of active duty. This will be a special day for the both of us. If you wish, we will talk about this both now and in the fall. However, I don't want you to stress over these or any issues. If talking about it seems to do so, than I would rather we didn't. I love you, but I want you to be happy. Please reply to this as soon as you read it so I know you have gotten it. I love you and only want you to be happy. Your eternal companion, Wanda

Re: Computers

Robert, Not all of your message came in to AOL. I know this because there are "headers" at the bottom of each message. Here is what I did get. I can pull up messages that I have sent on AOL. If you have a copy of the rest of the message please send it to me. If you don't, too bad. If there was something important that you said, please tell me again. I love you, Wanda
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RBAINBRIDG Wanda, LOANS: The reason that the last message sounded so desperate is for this very reason. I'm hoping to avoid taking out any loans for our wedding and honeymoon. However, if I'm to rent tuxedos for everyone, fund a wedding-breakfast, buy assorted gifts, pay for incoming relatives (I think I can weasle out of this one *grin*), etc., then a loan will be necessary. That is why I think we need to be realistic about what we REALLY want. USHERS: Personally, I'd prefer them in dark suits. A "casual" reception lends itself better to this, rather than dressy tuxedos. I'll probably only have two or three ushers anyways - Eric, Jenn, and Kent. Perhaps my brothers as well. Dark suits won't look as good in the pictures as tuxedos would, but I don't know that the ward building would look as good as a reception hall. Do you see what I'm saying? We're poor. As long as we both understand that, we should do fine. Let's be careful not to spend our money on that which has no worth, nor our labors on that which cannot satisfy. There is an elegant beauty in simplicity. If we want a party/dance-style reception then let's start with that basic theme and go with it. (Can you tell that I'm getting stressed about this all of a sudden? Sorry, I don't mean to... it's just been happening every now and then as of late.) WORK: I think we'll be able to work it out so that I work outside the home and you work inside the home with our children. I admire that part of you - that desire to raise our children. Naturally, we will have to sacrifice some worldly things to attain this goal - but provided we are both willing to do so, it will all work out just fine. Heavenly Father will always support us in our righteous goals. COMPUTERS: I suspected that you had learned most of it (did you really know MHZ?) - but I had too many classmates in CIS that STILL didn't know what some of these things were! *yikes!* I usually operate under the assumption that too much information is frequently better than too little. CLASSES: I think you do well in this (and other) subjects because you are interested in it. When you aren't interested (like History and Life Science) then I think you just don't dedicate yourself as much to the study of those subjects. I am exactly the same way. I did find, however, that in subjects that did not interest me I could do well by FOOLING myself into believing that I liked it. Ie; COBOL, Accounting, Personal Growth, Literature of the Bible, Finance, etc. The list goes on and on. It's easy for me to hate accounting NOW, since I'm through taking the class, but at the time I had to LOVE it. *ugh* I'm sorry if I led you to believe that I didn't think you did well in your computer science courses. I know that you have an aptitude for it - which is why I think you'll do well in C-Programming. I know that you do well in school when you are interested in the subject matter - the trick is to fool yourself into thinking that you like every subject. Windows -v- DOS: this fall I will spend time in teaching you more about Windows. Once you make the transition, you will NEVER go back. DOS is nice because it is familiar. Windows is PAINFULLY easy once you get the hang of it. You seem to be VERY good at learning new things, so Windows will be a breeze for you. Just trust me when I say that Windows is better and easier. Yes, it's a little slower... UNTIL you try to do REAL work - then it's blindingly fast compared to DOS! DOS: I don't know of anything that you can do in DOS that you cannot do in Windows. Please elucidate. Windows: pseudo-multitasking (true-multitasking with Chicago when it is released next year) - running multiple applications simultaneously; cutting, copying & pasting between applications; dynamic linking (I have to work on this in the fall for Mary when I get a moment) - which is where a change made to a cell in a spreadsheet (or field in a database) is immediately updated in a letter, memo, spreadsheet, or database. There are more things - but I'll have to demonstrate them to you sometime. Windows & Communications: when you download in DOS your computer is hung until the download is completed. I can download/upload files in Windows while working in Word Perfect or playing Solitaire! I can run two word-processors simultaneously. I can run a database, spreadsheet, word processor, and several other applications all at the same time. Windows & Memory: DOS is limited to 640K of RAM (which is reduced further when you start loading software drivers for hardware devices, or TSRs [Terminate and Stay Resident programs]). Windows can use ALL the RAM on your system (8MB on our computer) PLUS a swap-drive on your hard-drive. A swap-drive is a section of your hard drive (about 16MB on our computer) where Windows swaps active applications in-and-out in order to free up RAM memory - that's how you keep multiple applications running at the same time. Windows & ease-of-use: DOS has cryptic commands consistent with other command-line interfaces. Windows has point-and-click icons that makes it easy to bring up an application. Windows is built around the concept of getting as much work done as possible in the shortest amount of time. If you'd like, we can have a contest sometime and see who can develop the best-looking word-processing document in the shortest amount of time. I guarantee I'd win. Not because I'm better - but because Windows is better. Windows & Users: Windows shields the user from knowing what the computer is doing. DOS makes you know more about computers than you need to know. It's daunting to first-time users. People MUCH prefer Windows because it's easy to use and doesn't frighten them like DOS does. Anyway, these are the main points. I guarantee I can win you over to Windows this fall - once you see what you can do you'll never go back (except for occasional disk-maintenance). I like DOS, don't get me wrong, but Windows is just easier to use. Programming: you only did "easy" programs? That's what ALL programs are! *grin* Really, they are all easy - it just takes more time to make the bigger ones. If you program correctly then it stays easy... if you get "clever" then your programs can get complicated, hard-to-read, and bug-ridden. Don't be "clever." Have you ever heard of "spaghetti-coding?" I did that on a sort-routine I once wrote. Over a hundred lines of code and VERY difficult to read. My friend then showed me another sort routine (we were working in BASIC) that was one-line long. *ouch!* I learned my lesson. Additionally, after trying to figure out the programs of others, I finally began to appreciate well-documented code. I LOVE YOU! Semicolons: get used to them. C uses them as well. Every line ends in a semicolon. Here is the most basic C-program: #include main() { printf("Hello Wanda!"); } Explanation: #include - includes other programs, functions, subroutines, etc., used by your program. contains the "printf" function that prints out to the screen (or standard output) whatever you send up to it. Variables that you send to functions are put in parentheses (). main() - the main program. Each function that you write in your program will have a different title, but they will all have parentheses () (for passing values to your function), and brackets {} which denote the begin and end of the function. () - main doesn't have any arguments that get sent to it. However, there are two arguments that get sent to it by default. If you REALLY wanted to be correct, you'd write main() like this: main(int argc, char argv[]) I could be slightly off on the syntax - but that looks correct. This means that main gets two arguments sent to it - an integer (int) and an array of characters (argv[]). Don't worry if this doesnt' make any sense right now - your teacher will do a better job of explaining it. Here is a properly written program: #include /* This is a test program - it doesn't really do anything it is just being used to teach Wanda how to write a basic C-program */ main( int argc, char argv[] ) { printf("Hello Wanda!"); } The /* begins a comment, and the */ ends it. comments are used to tell future programmers (who are maintaining your program) what it is doing. It's rather frivolous for shorter programs, but larger ones get complicated quickly unless you make notes as to what each part does. Anyway, it's really quite simple. If you were to run the above program, it would work. It would print "Hello Wanda!" on the screen. Once it works, then you start adding to it - bit by bit - until it becomes a very large and very "complicated" program. Each function should be very simple... but taken altogether it will naturally be very complicated. It's best to program a little, test it (so you can see results and be proud of what you've accomplished so far) and then program some more. This way you don't get bored, and you can catch minor bugs early. I think I've rambled again. *innocent smile* CLEVER -v- GOOD PROGRAMMING: GOOD: /* This function will print out the numbers from 10 down to 0 on the screen - (a countdown from 10 to 0). "count" is an integer variable used to hold the value of the number. */ countdown() { int count; /* count is set to 10, for loop continues until count equals 0. */ for ( count = 10, count = 0, count = count - 1 ) { printf("%d\n", count); }; } CLEVER: cd() { int a=10; for(; a=0; printf("%d\n", a--); } This is a simple example. Both programs do the same thing, however, the first is easier to read (because I commented [documented] it, and used lots of "white-space" (spaces and blank lines - which make the program easier to read). Additionally, the variable "count" gives you some idea of what it is used for. In the "clever" example, it's hard to figure out what the function is doing and what the variables mean. The title of the function, "cd", doesn't explain much about the purpose of the function, and "a" doesn't really tell you what the variable is used for. The program looks FAR more cryptic than it needs to. BOTH versions do the same thing and BOTH look the same after they are compiled (converted to machine-language that the computer can understand). BOY! If nerd-talk is "sexy" then I must have you hotter than a rooster in a henhouse by now! *laugh* I LOVE YOU! I hope this helps a little. I hope it doesn't bore you too much - I LOVE talking about this stuff. If your dad has a "C" compiler on his machine then you could start programming right now. If not, then you'll just have to wait until we set up our machine in a few weeks. I'd send you the disks for the c-compiler, but it takes up about 25-40MB of disk space to run. I REALLY don't think your dad has that much free room on his hard drive! *smile* Well, that's all the stuff for now. I keep getting mail! I'll NEVER catch up! *smile* Actually, I LOVE the mail from YOU, it's all the OTHER mail I keep getting! Love Always & Forever, - Robert =)

Hair

Robert, My dad came home for lunch today and when he walked in the door he noted that I was on the computer. He came over and saw that I was on AOL. He said "How did I know that that is what you were doing?" He said teased me and said "you know, there are other things to life besides Robert." And my mother chided me by saying, "not right now, there's not." I loved getting all of this mail from you. I feel better now that I can finally communicate with you again. I don't know if I can send you a picture of me with my new haircut. I will see what I can do though. A lady in church yesterday thought that I was 14 until I went to Relief Society. My mother told me this this morning and it really didn't boost my self-esteem. I knew that it made me look more child-like, but I didn't think that it was that bad. Oh well. It is just a little shorter than when you first met me. When you came to the desk that night, it was the first time I had ever pulled my hair back completely. I hadn't been able to do that before then. I can do it now, but my hair looks so stubby that it doesn't look at all good that way. This is the same lady that cut my hair last time. Before she really did a good job. That is why I waited to come to El Centro to get it "trimmed." The problem with it is that it is very blunt. It would look okay if the ends were softened a little bit. the person that cut Felicias hair knows what I am talking about and so she will cut my hair in December. I really didn't want a drastic change. I have been trying to grow my hair out. The same person that cut my hair, cut Desi's. she also did Desi's a lot shorter than she wanted. It will grow out. I guess my hair is kind of like your car, huh? It is material and can always get it redone. You can always purchase a new car. You will have to wait for the money, I will have to wait for my hair to grow. I know, wierd analogy. We should do a lot of window shopping in the fall that way we can give people specific colors and styles. Gift-givers are usually very frustrated when the recipient of the gift doesn't know what they want. It makes their job so much easier if we have our minds made up. Glass and marble would be nice for the office. You mentioned haveing lots of wood. Wood really isn't "modern." Elsewhere we can have lots of wood. When we window shop we will discover different styles that we each appreciate. I am anxious to recieve more mail from you. ( You said that you would write more later.) I am going to help my mother right now, but I will periodically check AOL to see if there are any new messages from you. I like the free time I have to write. It is so much different than this summer. I was so rushed and I had little time to write to you. Now I have all the time I want. It is a new experience. I love you. Your fiance, Wanda

Games and Marriage

Robert, Thanks for the address to the MTC. I will write him and see if there is a correct way we are supposed to address it. I used to have an address for the MTC when Joe was in it. He was there for two months. He was going on a foreign speaking mission. Joe and Philip: Phil likes to play lots of games. We used to stay up all night when we lived in South Carolina and play board and card games. If you like them and play them with him (us) you will have a friend for life. Desi and Cherstin really enjoyed playing UNO with us. It made their day. They really like you because you don't just treat them like "Wanda's little sisters." They weren't too suprised. My friends have usually treated them like people. Maybe it is the attitude I take with them. Usually Joe and his friends just figure they are little sisters and leave them out of things. This might be why I am their favorite sibling. Joe will play raquetball with you. Yes, I still want to learn in the fall. Be patient with me. I am only a beginner. Racquets: I already have one. My parents invested in racquets for themselves, me and my brothers. I have had it since March. I have only used it once though. I don't know that much about racquets so I don't know if it is of good quality. When my parents were buying one for Joe it didn't come with a cover and the lady at the sports-shop told them that really good ones don't come with covers. Mine came with a cover. I know a professional would choose a different one, but I am sure mine will do. Bride's magazines: The only other time I have looked at a Bride's Magazine is when I had to get married in High School, which for me wasn't too long ago. I am glad that you are going to marry your sweetheart, who is she? We will gather a lot of information before we decide on things. This is sometimes stressing for me because then I have to choose between different things that I like. Kind of like my dress. I know what type of sleeves I want, what type of waistline I want
with the lace on the bodice overlapping, not making a seem, I know that I want the waist to start at the hips, etc. But I can't find a dress that has all of these together. If I get the type of sleeves that I want then I can't have the type of neckline I would prefer. It comes down to which one I like more, and oftentimes I like them both, equally. If it weren't a wedding dress, my mother would mix and match the patterns, taking the neckline from this dress and the back from that one, etc. But she is worried about messing it up. My mother is a very good seamstress and I know that she can do it but she is a little unsure of herself. I love you too and I am also glad that we are getting married. We will be able to be together for all eternity and I am looking forward to this. I love you. I feel extremely lucky that you asked me to marry you. I will be honored to be your wife. It is good to know that we are both committed to getting married and to staying married. We will make each other very happy. I love you and always will love you. Your soon-to-be wife, Wanda

Computers

Robert, Loans: If you think we can get by without taking out an extra $1000 than we should. We can scrimp and save. If there is an unexpected expense, then we can use your Mastercard. But I don't like owing people money any more than you do. I will try to help pay things off. If Steve can't get me on at the lab, than I will find a job elsewhere to help out. There are many things that I can do (just as there are many things that I can't do). We will find something for me. I have no objections to me working while we don't have kids. I am working 20 hours a week now and am going to school with 17-18 credit hours. I can do it. However, when we have children, I would like to stay home with them. I realize that there are cases where women need to work when they have kids. This decision will be made between you and I and our Heavenly Father if and when the need arises. I am fully confident that you will be able to provide for our family. You are very intelligent and quick minded. You will do well and you will succeed as far as you want to. You can do anything you want to. I know you can. And surely you have proven this to your family. I love you. Computers: Thanks for giving me the input on MHZ, RAM, Hard Drive, CPU, and Monitors. Actually I already knew this stuff. We HAD to know it for my computer science class. A lot of people didn't learn it, but once you tell me something that interests me, it usually sticks in my brain -- just like lactic acid. I am glad that you took the time to tell me this though. A lot of people just assume that I know something and go on forever. I would rather that you assume that I don't know something, than assume that I do know it. One of our first projects in computer science was to write a paper on what kind of computer system we would buy and set up and what kinds of software we would most often run. I received a perfect grade. We were tested on our knowledge of the 5 major components on the midterm. I got a 98%, the highest in the class. I probably did equally as well on the final. I aced all of the projects except Pascal. I misread one of the statements on the assignment sheet so she docked me 5 points (which is still an A). I did rather well in that class. See, I'm not a total dummy. I do do well in some classes. Just not History and Life Science. Well I have rambled on long enough about that. DOS vs Windows: No, my dad doesn't run windows. I am sure this is why I am probably going to be a die-hard DOS user. I CAN use Windows, but I have a hard time finding my way around. I would rather use DOS. I am sure that given enough time, I will become accustomed to Windows, but I won't like it at first. Why are you far more productive in Windows? What does Windows allow you to do that DOS doesn't? I know there is stuff that DOS allows you to do that Windows doesn't. Explain. What are the advantages to using Windows? Programming: I think I will enjoy programming just because I had fun watching my programs work in Pascal. However, we only did easy programs. I am not sure how much more difficult it will get. I don't like things that are too easy because then it doesn't challenge my mind enough, but I don't want to be totally confused when I work on my programs. I will need you there to teach me what I am doing. After I understand what each item means, then I won't need you that much. I might need a little help from time to time when I have forgotten a semicolon. That was kind of a joke. The hardest time I had with Pascal was when I would forget a semicolon. I did this quite often and I could never find where I had missed it. It is kind of funny because I could find the complex errors but I would miss the simple ones. This is kind of how my life usually is. I overlook all of the simple things and skip ahead to the hard ones. You said that "good" programmers write "easy-to-read codes." What are they? What is the difference between "easy-to-read" and "hard-to-read?" What do you mean by "Don't get 'clever' unless absolutely necessary?" How do you "document" programs. I still have two more messages to read and I reached the end of this one. I love you honey, even if you talk nerd-talk to me. It's rather sexy. :) I love you. Your future wife, Wanda

ushers

Robert, I love you too!!! Ushers is just another name for the groomsmen. I take it that you read the list of responsibilities for the Bride and the groom. I am not quite sure what kinds of gifts we get each other. When Lynne and Chad got married she "employed" all of us cousins in her wedding and gave each of us little nick-nacks. Most of the girls got porcelain boxes. I am sure that we would get each other something a little more special. I could ask Lynne what they got each other if you want. She seems to be up on the protocol. (I think Chad got her a nighty if I remember correctly.) I usually avoid stress also. Maybe that is why I am so frustrated with the wedding sometimes. My mom asked me yesterday if I would rather just get married, and invite family and really close friends to a nice dinner. Planning-wise this is tempting, but I would much rather celebrate. I thinkwe will enjoy the reception (which is the REAL headache) when we get to it. The ends will justify the means. I was looking through the Bride's guide and we have the major decisions already taken care of. It is just the little petty ones that still need to be done. I hadn't realized how much we accomplished because I kept looking at how much still needed to be done. We have set a Wedding date. This is supposedly one of the harder decisions to make. A decision that is even harder is "should we get married." I know that we should and you have indicated that you know this is the right decision as well. In this last visit we determined the wedding colors and we even found a place to hold a reception. We have decided where we should get married also. If you look behind us, you can see what we have done. Of course we need to look forward and make future decisions, but we have already done a lot. We will have fun oun our Wedding day. We will also receive lots of presents. I love you. I have three mroe messages from you. I can't believe it. I had started this one and left for exercise class. I was gone for an hour. When I returned I had four letters from you. This one came in 10 minutes after I left. Have a good day and don't forget me. I love you. Wanda

Modern furniture

Robert, Peach and green: I think you will like these two colors together, however we will have a chance to discuss it in the fall. If we could get our home colors squared away by the first couple of weeks (the sooner the better) than we will be able to move onto other items. Modern vs Country/Colonial: You did it again. You say you like modern styles better but you like ornate wood instead of the plain stuff. Modern styles are usually very plain and simple. Ornate wood is more Southern/Country/Colonial, whatever you want to call it. Your Modern Office: This could be furnished in black and white or black and gray. All three colors could be used (as base colors) But usually just one scheme or the other is less busy to the eye and more pleasing. The furniture can be ebony, marble, and glass. This is usually what "modern" consists of. What do you think? You will probably be in this room more than I will. Don't think that I won't use it though. I am sorry that this message is short. The letter I am responding to isn't very long and I am tired. Sleep will be setting in soon. I don't have too many thoughts. I am sure I will tomorrow, so you should expect plenty more mail. I hope you felt like a little kid at Christmas time though. Please don't take anything I have written offensively. My senses aren't too keen tonight. I love you and I am anxious to be hearing from you tomorrow. I LOVE YOU!!! Eternally yours, Wanda Marie

800 number

Robert, Thank you so much for the 800 number. It will come in very useful. I used to get other 800 number calls when I worked up at psychology than from just you. The phone monitor always said "mega" on it. Yes, Joe's comments were cute, but the ring is just SLIGHTLY more serious. I love you and the ring symbolizes this. It is also one of the few things that I can hold and think of you. I also hold Tig and the binder full of letters from you. Hair. Yes, my hair is short. Not as short as it has been though. However you didn't know me then. My hair is just a little shorter than when you first met me. Yes I am considering cuttin it short after we get married. Don't worry though, it wouldn't be until long after we are married. If I take all that time to grow it out, then I want to live with the rewards of doing so for quite a while. I like your hair the way it is. I think your hairstyle is very becoming. I guess that I am mainly frustrated because it isn't even cut the way I wanted it and it is a lot shorter than I asked for. She didn't even really do that great of a job. The same lady did Desi's hair and it isn't done that well either. Well I have one more message to respond to and then I am off to bed. Someday I will get sleep. Right now I am too nauseated to sleep, but I am becoming drowsy. Hopefully I will be able to sleep through most of the yucky feeling. I love you. Wanda

Rob

Robert, Rob's full name is Robert Andrew Shaffer III. I used to have the address to the mission home, but I don't think I kept it when I changed my address book over to my planner. If you have it, can you send it to me? He went into the MTC the same day you flew back to NM. Quaint little ward building in South Jordan: I will try to find someone I can call tomorrow (or today, when you are reading this) who can give me the Bishop's number of President Mecham's. Wish me luck. Philip is looking forward to someone who will play chess with him and Joe wants to give you a hard time. Joe has lost a lot of weight since I last saw him. He wasn't fat, but he has really toned up. It will be interesting planning what days we want to spend where. I don't want it to end up like this past trip though. Don't get me wrong. I loved this trip. I would like to spend more time with people though. I do realize that some people, like your grandma and grandpa Flood don't like visitors to stay for too long, but it seemed like others wanted us to stay longer like your grandma and grandpa King or Elaine (even though your mom said that ten minutes with her is like an hour with her). I am going to reply to the last few messages from you. I will write some more to you tomorrow. I love you. Since I had to look up the groom's list in the "Bride's Guide" I found some more interesting things. You might want to look at this with me in the Fall. It's up to you. I love you. I am off, but I love you. Forever yours, Wanda

Computers

Robert, You told me that in the fall you will sit down with me and show me how to work the computer. You said that it won't be too different from the one my father will give me come Christmas. The one my father is giving me is a 386 sx. It is the same one that I am typing on now. It is just a different brand. Does the brand make THAT much of a difference? I am not too worried about using a computer. What does have me worried though, is programming. I am worried that I won't have a nack for it. From what I did do, I loved it. Usually when I decide to do something I stick with it whether I like it or not. When I joined marching band I was tempted several times to stick with it. I did until the end of the quarter. I just won't join again next year. This is usually the reason I stick with some of my other classes. This is why I kept my personal finance class. I didn't want to drop it as soon as it got difficult. The class enrollment dropped 60% by midterm. I don't like saying that I quit or walked out on something. This is why I never let a relationship begin. You won't have to worry about me walking out on you. Joe just came in from a dance at the church. He invited me when I first got down here. My first response was no because of the last dance I went to here. I went to the New Year's Eve dance and I felt extrememly old and out of place. It was a youth dance I had been gone for two years. I left a half hour into the dance. One guy had asked me to dance and he asked me what year I was. I had told him that I was a Sophomore. He told me that I looked at least 16, not at all like I was 15. I had to explain that I was a Sophomore in COLLEGE. Back to my response. My first response was no because I had had an awful time last time, then I realized that it would have been no because I wouldn't want to dance with anyone there. The only person I would have wanted to dance with would be in NM. Then my parents went out on a date and I missed you. We will have plenty of dates and dances to go to together in the Fall. Nothing is any fun anymore without you. I had just finished watching a movie on AMC earlier. It was really funny and cute. All I could do was think of you. You are constantly in my thoughts. I can't get you off my mind. This is why I am writing to you now. This is good though. Birth Control: My mother called San Diego. The lady works in Primary Care. They told her just to take me in and request her. I wonder what she will have to say. So you are still hitting the gym? This is good. My mother went back to her exercise class this morning. She said she could tell the difference that just two weeks made. In the Fall we will go a lot and it will give me an excuse to make time. As it turns out, I have been losing weight this quarter. I don't know if it shows. My mother said that it kind of shows in my face. She said that my weight loss my be due to the pills. (Combination of a new metabolic rate and me losing my dinner.) This is one reason she wants me off of them. She's not the one that has to endure the cysts if I don't take them though. You said that you were going to write my sisters and myself. I will be anxiously looking forward to receiving them. I am sure that Desi, Cherstin and Felicia will be ecstatic to get mail. They get excited about Ed McMahon's mail addressed to them though. When mom and I go up to Utah we might stay in the Residence Halls. Mom really doesn't want to stay at my grandparents. I can rent the room and I have extra sheets for the extra bed. This way I will have someone to drive me back and forth from my parents house to collect my stuff that is in storage. I love you. I have four more letters to respond to so I am off to the next one. This is fun. I love writing to you. Always yours, Wanda

Message #2 or #1

Robert, This is the second message I am replying to, but I realize that this is really the first one you sent in response to my test message. I love you. It makes me happy that we can finally write to each other again too. I was so anxious to write to you yesterday, but I needed my dad to show me how to send a message on AOL. I made him show me last night before he went to bed so he wouldn't forget to show me in the morning. I am glad that he showed me because I have been able to write you mail and receive messages from you once again. I MISS YOU!!! Soon we will both be at Weber and I will get to see you more often. This thought makes me very happy, but not as happy as the thought of me marrying you. Since the message I am responding to is short, I will move on to the next one. I am so excited that I can once again print your messages out. This will also save on the allotted time. I can log on, print any messages that you have sent and then read while I respond to them. I am off, but I l.ove you. You should have plenty of messages tomorrow when you get to work. I love you. Wanda PS. I almost pushed to send this message to you. How silly! Old habits die hard. I love you.

Printing

Robert, I figured out how to print your e-mail messages out. You go up to the menu, click on "file" and then click on "print." Boy do I feel sheepish. It is almost 11:30pm right now. I was printing out the last of your email messages when my father came out and asked me if I was printing out more of your messages. (I printed out the first 5 earlier) I just grinned and he replied by saying, "Boy do you have it bad." I think he pinned me pretty good. I can now reply to each letter one by one. This is so-o-o cool. You will have plenty of messages when you return to work tomorrow. I love you. It is interesting writing to you right now. My glasses broke on the way back to El Centro. I had put them in the glove compartment box for safe keeping. Wrong idea. My mother found them with one of the screws missing in one of the arms. I only have an arm for one ear and a nose to keep them in place. They keep tilting to one side. It would be easy to fix, but I need a new prescription and these glasses look awful. This way I might get my parents to spring for a new set of glasses before we get married. They might not though. I never wore these much. I wear them more now since I take my contacts out at night. The Reception: What have you decided to do with Bishop Poll. I thought I had his number along with his address, but it turns out that I don't. I have to call Debi and Sally tomorrow. Maybe I can call someone else that will know his number while I am racking up my parents phone bill. Bride's Magazines: Yes, the magazine I do have has a checklist for the groom. However, it occurs to me that I left it at my grandmother's house. I have a planning book that has a list in it. That one might be more complete anyway. The obligations will be something we will discuss together. Every wedding is different and unique. However to set your mind at ease, here is the list: THE GROOM Bride's ring(s) Marriage license Gifts to bride, best man, and ushers Bride's bouquet, mothers' corsages Boutonnieres for best man and ushers Pre/Post-wedding family meal (I think this is the "breakfast") Transportation and housing costs for attendants (when unable to accommodate them in a home -- out of town attendants) THE BRIDE Invitations/announcements, other wedding stationery --thank you notes, etc.) Postage for above Wedding gown, bride's trousseau Wedding pictures Groom's ring Bride's gifts to groom, maid of honor, and bridesmaids Flowers for maid of honor and bridesmaids Transportation and housing costs for attendants (when unable to accomodate them in a home -- out of town attendants) Reception Do you feel better honey? I want to do everything that I can to make the wedding enjoyable for the both of us. I don't think I am mistaken if I assume that you hate stress just as much if not more than I do. I love you. This book that my mother got me is really a help. It is removing a lot of stress over protocol. I am experiencing less and less suprises. I know that with you, EVERYTHING will work out just fine. I love you. I am off so I can write you another message. I LOVE YOU!!! Your future bride, Wanda