waterslides

Robert, I told you a couple of letters ago about Mike and Nancy. Hopefully I will be able to get a hold of them soon. I will tell you as soon as I do. As for calling me. Your calls are ALWAYS welcome. It is a rarity that I am stressed out, you just happen to hit it on the nose when I was crying to Katrina. It was because I wanted to be with you (I wasn't going to give that up) I just didn't know how to work my schooling around it. Maybe that is the way I should have phrased it last night. You did give me the security and knowledge that things would work out if we put our faith and trust in the Lord. I love you for that. You made me feel better about that, but I wasn't sure where we stood and I didn't want to hang up until that was cleared. I knew that I would stew about it until I could talk to you again on Sunday. I guess that is part of the reason I want to call you so bad tonight. I know things are much better than they were last night, but I want to talk to you about us, not stressing stuff. Anyway, if I am going to call you tonight, I have to get home soon, so maybe I will only respond to a couple more messages. The problem is they are so tempting to read that I might be here for another half hour or so. I love you so much and my feelings for you haven't changed and never will. I will love you through everything. I can only hope that you will too. The Spirit has told me that you will, and I dare not doubt it, (So that last sentance is not supposed to sound like I do) but it is still a little scary to put it in concrete terms. I am off to more messages. I love you very much. There isn't a word that can describe how much. Love always, Wanda

Friday

Robert, I want so bad to be off Friday. I will be able to see what I can do. If I have to work extra long the weekend before or after I will. I will do all that is within my power. Remember, it's not just you who wants to be with me. I return that, I want to be with you. I am glad that you would like to go up to our spot also. I know that girls are usually the sentimental ones in that case, but knowing that you want to go to makes me feel like I am not being so pushy and anxious to go. I love you and will do anything (well, second thought, almost anything) to get Friday off. Someday we will be together, FOREVER, and I won't have to let you go ever again. It makes me glad that "someday" is soon. I can't live without you much longer, I am too in love with you. I am oign to see what you have next, because I should be going soon. I love you and always will. Eternally yours (someday), Wanda

Temples

Robert, I left at 2:00 and didn't have one single message from you. I knew that you had sent three (you said so) but none of them were here. When I logged on tonight however the computer told me that I had 15 (which means 12) messages. I love you so much. I know you said you wrote this message when you were stressed out, but I want to make sure you know that I am fine with wherever you choose to go on our honeymoon. You said taht you don't want me to regret not going somewhere "exotic" but wherever we go will be exotic because I will be with you. I love you so much and we will have a lifetime to plan other vacations together. Katrina is in Summer Chorus right now (our institute class) but I am skipping it so I can get my homework done. I might call you to. I know that we need to save expenses, but I love you and want to talk with you. I am off to read the other messages that you sent me. I might not get them all read before I head back to do my homework, but I think I will have more time to write tomorrow. It depends on what time I get off work. I hope that I get off before 4:00 because that's when all of the labs close. The library MIGHT be open until 6:00, but I am not sure, someone said they were going to change their hours. Anyway, I might not be here after that, I don't know. I don't have to report in at work until 8:30, so I hope I will get up early enough to write you. I hope I will, these past feew days I have overslept, but the only class I have missed is the institute class I am missing now and that doesn't count, it is only singing and I am not going to go to the performance because I will be dropping you off at the airport. I told them last week that I wouldn't be going. They asked why and I told them. If they think that singing comes before you, the have got another think coming. I tried to call Mike Nollar again today. He needs an answering machine. Oh, by the way, his number changed. I don't have it with me but I thought you might like to know. As far as I know Nancy's is the same. I only tried to call
her today. I called your parent's home. Your sister answered and said they were gone. They had been in California for the week. She asked who it was and I told her that it was me. She was excitedly suprised. She asked why I called and I told her that it was to arrange a night we could go dancing. I told her that it looked like Saturday night was the best. She said that your mom would move Heaven and Earth to go. She said that she would leave a message. They would be getting back at 7:00 tonight. I left home at 7:30 and they hadn't called. She said taht she would relay basically what I told her and if they had any questions they would call. She took down my phone number just in case they didn't have it or couldn't find it right off. She then started to talk. She asked me if I was going to go to Weber next year. I told her that I wasn't going to go fall quarter and I wasn't quite sure if I was going to go winter. She asked why and I ALMOST told her that it was because "Robert and I are getting married." Don't worry though. I caught myself. After I hung up I thought "Robert would kill me if I spoiled his surprise." I am going to try to call Mike again when I get home. As far as I know we are going dancing with your mom and dad Saturday. Do you think your mam will call me when she gets home? I hope that because I called her I have made it easier for her to call me. I want her to feel comfortable and not like she is intruding in any way. It is a shame that you aren't talking to me now! The vax hasn't lagged at all. I wonder if it is because I am on so late. Wattis is the only building open this late and I am the only one here (besides the lab aid). I have babbled long enough. I need to pay some attention to your other messages. I love you. Yours forever, Wanda

rings

Robert, I trust you judgement with rings. I am sure that you can look at the diamond and determine which one is best. Besides if you can't tell the difference, then don't expect me to or anyone else who sees it for that matter. I love you and whatever you choose will be fine, no matter what clarity you get. It is all up to you. Love always, Wanda PS. I would write more but I just got a message from someone I don't know. I also have to find out what is up with my directory and the lab closes in a half hour. I definately won't get to all of your messages tonight. I LOVE YOU

Last night

Robert, I printed this message out so I could respond to it part by part. It disturbs me somewhat because I have not explained myself well.I am going to call you tonight and, in addition, I will call you on Sunday. As I believe I expressed in my last letter, not being with you is not, I repeat, NOT an option and I am sorry if you felt that it was. Post-poning the wedding is also NOT an option. There is no way in Heaven (ha-ha) that I could do that. You are right, WHEN we get married (and the Spirit has let me know that we should) we will be as one. I will go with you. The issue with me and school, wasn't an issue of wether I should be with you or follow you. I told you I would and that was sincere, it came from the heart. You told me once taht you loved me because I was genuine and constant. Robert, if I am constant, then I am constantly genuine. If I wasn't genuine in saying that, then I am not what you know me to be and you shouldn't marry me. Back to what I was saying, I wasn't worried about wether or not I could follow you. What I was worried about was where I was going to fit a wedding in with going to school. I don't want either of us to feel pressured. You gave me the option of getting married in December and that relieved a lot of the pressure I was feeling. Surely if we get married in December you can still go to work in Los Alamos. Robert, I meant it when I told you I don't have to go to Weber. Many people transfer from school to school everyday. I have already transfered once. There is a lab aid that occasionally works here (he has been married for four years) and Weber is his fourth school. Even if you get a job in the middle of the ocean I WILL follow you. I believe with all my heart what my mother said. I even believed it before she said something to me. The ONLY reason she told me this was to see if I would postpone our marriage, not because I have a lack of commitment to you. New Mexico is still an option. I am sure that I can go there for 2 quarters, or more if necessary. 6 - 9 months is plenty of time for this. We would just have to be there when winter quarter started which would mean we would have to be married over Christmas break. I want you to KNOW, not just believe or hope, that I am commited to marrying you. Both of my parents see this and that is the ONLY reason they are supportive of my marrying you. One of the things that my mother told me is that your number one responsibility is to support a family and that my number one responsibility is to support you in doing this. I have had a good example of this. I have watched my mother. Robert, it isn't because she told me this that I believe it, it is because I know that that is how an eternal family functions. Because of this I know that my education is second. If the need does arise, I will give up my education for a time, only because I love you and I need to be completely supportive of you or our marriage wouldn't work. I not getting married to get divorced. That is why I have prayed so earnestly for an answer. I have to KNOW that you are the right one, and I do. Robert, I have moved around ALL of my life. I don't even have to accomodate to it any more. I did at one time, but that was when I was 8 years old and missed my friends. Life would be strange to settle down somewhere for more than 3 years. I WILL move wherever you get a job and I am sorry if I let you understand that I wouldn't. I have decided now, and I decided this long ago (it hasn't and won't change) that I want to marry you. I want to be together with you at all times and in all places. Don't read anything into my "not wanting to be apart from you in the Winter." It means simply that and only that. I don't want to be away from you, EVER. This is one reason I want to marry you. So I don't have to ever be apart from you again. I agree. Your career IS paramount. Soon enough we will have a family and we will need to support them. I may not be working, but I will be supporting them by supporting you. I fully understand our financial standing. I have a job that will only pay 4.50 an hour. I have a loan (it may only be $400, but it is a loan nontheless) and not much money in the bank (it isn't even worth counting. We will both be finishing school (I can get a Pell Grant, and I know that you can't because you will now be working on your MBA). I also realize that getting married costs a fortune (and not just the ring). If it takes moving to Los Alamos, I can still go to school down there, if necessary, as long as we get there before the quarter starts (and that is now possible because you have brought up the possibility of getting married in December.) You say that we must decide if getting married is what we still want to do and if we are committed. I always have been (wanting to get married & committed to it) and always will be. I am sorry if I let you believe otherwise. I surely did not mean for it to sound as if I wasn't. I said it before and I will say it again. I love you and I will do whatever it takes to get married and make it work. Some of the things you said in the letter hurt, but I hope that that too is a misunderstanding, I realize how easily things can be misunderstood. It seems that I am always apologizing for something I didn't say quite right. I am sure that I need to work on this more. Robert, this IS a two-way relationship. If I wasn't committed to it, I would have gotten out of it LONG ago. I never let things get too far that I am not committed to. You don't need to give up Los Alamos. You said that it is a done-deal. I hope taht you didn't burn any bridges. We may still need to go there. I AM willing to go wherever you need to go, be it now, or in the future. I was right I was here another half hour or so (50 minutes). I love you very much and am glad that we didn't let it build into an argument. If I don't talk to you until Sunday, remind me then to tell you of Katrina's Mom's promise to her aunt. I love you dearly and know that you do too. All I want is for this to work and I know that if we keep working on it it will work. Just because we have decided to get married doesn't mean it will get any easier, but we will be together working on it. I love you and rest assured that I am FULLY committed. Love, Wanda

Sorry

Robert, I am so sorry that our comversation started off as bad as it did. You were so happy and I was so stressed. If you would of called 5 minutes earlier, I would have just gotten back from the computer lab and I was praising you. You would have never felt that I didn't want to be with you. Robert, that is the only thing I want right now. Tomorrow I will go into work and today I am going to go talk to a counselor in the math department. I know that things will just work out. I am sorry that I didn't let you go last night when you originally wanted to go. We promised that we would never go to bed after arguing, granted it wasn't an "argument" but it was a misunderstanding and we do need to keep our relationship clear from those too. I love you and I don't want to lose you and I don't want anything I do to cause me to lose you. I would have been more stressed out over our phone call then anything else if I hadn't been abl to clear things up somewhat. I still don't feel as comfortable as I'd like. To be honest, I wish that we would have had more time to talk. I am going to close this message because you might be at your computer and you might hear it get in. I don't know how slow the vax is. I haven't gotten any messages from you and I am hoping it is because either the vax is slow or you haven't had time to reply to any of the messages that I sent you. I would feel terrible if you just didn't feel like writing me. I guess I am not at the point where I feel I can say anything and not lose you. I love you. Forever yours, Wanda

ICE

Robert, Last night after I got off of the phone with you I took a sip of my lemonade. The ice cut the roof of my mouth. Actually it cut it quite deeply. My teeth had blood on them. It kept bleeding. It finally stopped but after I walked around the apartment for half an hour with a kleenex in my mouth. I told someone about that today and they told me that I should stay away from ice. I hit my head on the rail because I slipped on the ice and I had been on crutches because Jeff Lefevre (the one you know) had knocked me down while I was ice skating. Guess what! I have an apointment with the department head on Tuesday. NOW I am REALLY stressed out. The department head of the math department is, as of this quarter, the same guy that gave me a D in math 107. Ugh. All he has to do though is look at my 106 grade and realize that I usually don't miss exams! Before I was kind of excited to go in to meet him, but now I am just slightly nervous. Kidman recognizes faces real well. Oh well, I will keep you updated. I love you very much and can't wait for December/January to come. I haven't gotten your message yet though. I will hopefully get it soon. I love you very much and will someday be with you for always. Love, Wanda

diamonds, again

Robert, I would rather that you picked out the diamond. After all, the jeweler said that that is the man's fun. My grandmother's engagement ring is my dad's mom's. My Great Grandmother that I am named after (whose birthday is the 10th) is my mothers grandmother. Not that they aren't both special to me, but her diamond means more to me in its original band, my grandfather had it made in Korea. At least that is what I am told. I love you. Only a few more messages to go. Eternally yours, Wanda

Moonstruck

Robert, You did it again!! After I finish reading something uplifting and light-hearted, you send me a message which leaves me totally speachless and in love. I am not quite sure how to respond, but hopefully I don't need to. Don't expect much from me. I don't write as poetically. I hope that somehow I can reach you and let you know that I love you as strongly as you love me. My words aren't necessarily flattering but I do love you with all my heart. (Maybe that's the left side of my brain which tends to dominate most of me. By the way, my mother asked if you knew how left-brained I really am. I hope so, but if anyone brings out the right side of my brain you certainly do.) I will go on to another message, please forgive me but you leave me at a loss of words and all tearie-eyed and I don't have any privacy. I love you forever and ever, Wanda

TAN?

Robert, I don't understand why men (or women) prefer the tan look. When I was younger I always wanted to be white, not the pale white but almost a pink. I am glad I am not white though because I spend too much time in the sun and would burn and blister too easily. So what is desirable about being tan other than not burning? As for the "tricks" a Southern Belle learns. I am not going to tell you. It is not that I don't want you to know, they are just something that one picks up from watching the patterns of others. I would give you examples but I can't think of any modern ones off hand. If you ask me later I might tell you of some that Scarlet used, though they are strictly used for her day, there is no need for them now. I have quite a few messages left to read so I am going to go now. I still have to get back and do my homework. It keeps heaping up on me because I don't go straight home (I stop at the vax) and after a break I usually don't want to do much of my homework. The best time for me to do homework is right after class or right before I go to bed. Actually I concentrate best right before I go to bed, but I don't start my homework until too late so I haven't been getting to bed on time, which causes me to want to take breaks after I have stopped at the vax. Anyway, I have determined I am going to start my homework by 8:30, hopefully I will be done before midnight. I love you, (and miss you too) Love, Wanda

why?

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Why must it hurt so bad to be without you? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Robert, I love you so much there aren't words to explain it. I am not even going to try. I read some of your messages and I just want to be with you. I am not even sure how to respond. A lot of times they magnify the loneliness. Don't stop sending them to me though. It is my only means of communicating because I am going to be good and stay off of the phone. I love your mushy letters, they make me realize how much more I love you and want to spend the eternities with you. I LOVE YOU! And I can't tell you that enough. I can't spend the rest of my life without you, it would hurt too bad. It would be impossible. Your unofficial fiance, Wanda

Trust

Robert I just got your letter that reassured me that I could trust you. I know I can. I completely, totally, utterly trust you. I trust you with everything that I am. If I didn't know better, I would say that that it almost too much. One of the reasons I love you as much as I do is because I trust you implicately (check the spelling on that one, I am just having an overall hard day with my brain.) I don't worry about falling for you too much because it is impossible. The only reason I don't tell you I have completely fallen is because the minute I think I am I find I fall even more. I know that no matter how hard I fall you will be there to catch me. I don't know if I will be able to take an institute class, even on Friday. I don't know if my schedule will be able to allow it. I thought that maybe I could take a night class, but if the BEST schedule works out, I will be tied up Tues, Wed & Thurs night. Yuck. There will always be after so you and I can go out. I love you. I love you so much, I didn't even know it was possible to love someone this much until I fell for you. I am glad I did. I am getting back into my "it's impossible to live without Robert" mood, and it gets harder to control. Am I too controlling? Should I not try to control how I feel. I will always miss you but I can't let myself ache inside. It hurts too bad. I love you and always will be here for you. Love for an eternity, Wanda

Mirror Lake

Robert, I just got the message about mirror lake. I think we could go, but we will have to see what is going on. Who was Lisa. Is she Eric's present girlfriend? If so, was she someone you dated? I am glad that you don't fear losing me to him anymore. You won't. I have all that I want in New Mexico. I love you, Wanda

East vs. West

Robert, thank you, a scenic honeymoon would probably be most enjoyable. You said that some people go Temple hopping but then we would have to stay around cities. You are right, I just want to get away from it all and have you all to myself. After waiting so long I think I deserve you. Whichever coast we go to would be fine with me. I am sure that you will pick a great place. The reason I talk so much about the Eastcoast (Actually when I refer to the East coast, I am usually talking about the SouthEast coast.) is because I lived in south Carolina for 3 years and I absolutely fell in love with it. The land is much greener with a lot more trees, the beaches are so much nicer (a LOT more romantic) and they have absolutely beautiful thunderstorms. Ever since I lived there (South Carolina, Georgia area) I have been kind of partial to the South East Coast. I am confidant that whatever place you pick will be beautiful and romantic. As for theme parks, I know they are pretty much the same and we can go to them if you want. As long as we are together I really don't care what we do. Disneyland is usually too crowded though, although that gives us a lot of time together in lines. We will have to have kind of a short honeymoon. This is because of the bad news I have to tell you when you call Sunday. I would write to you about it over email, but I really want to talk about it and discuss it. I am feeling better now, although I still miss you very much. I was complaining about missing you to Julia. She said that I was defensive. She said taht I have a right to miss you. I know I do. While I was talking to her I figured out why I have such a hard time missing you. I am used to having control over my feelings and emotions. Getting on the airplane is a good example. I didn't want it to be hard so I wouldn't let it be (although I will have a REALLY hard time when you get back on in July). I don't have any control over how I am feeling. It isn't that I mind missing you, it's just that I miss you so much I can't control it. I miss you wether I want to or not. Julia said it was a good thing that I missed you and that I BETTER miss you if I wanted to marry you. My paragraphs are beginning to sound wordy. I am not quite sure why. I love you and my feelings will never change. After we're married, I might THINK I might be tired of you, but I won't be. I will continue to love you throughout eternity. I don't think I meant my paragraphs were wordy. I more proper word would be redundant. I notice myself saying the same thing over and over again, just in a different manner. I am sure it is because I love you so much that I can't express how I feel exactly. Take these words from the heart, not from the mind because there is so much more I want to say but I am at a loss as how to express my feelings verbally. I am babbling so I will continue on to the next message. I love you and always will. Your future wife, Wanda

Oops!

Robert, It looks like that is the last one. I could have sworn that there were more. I guess it is good that is the last one I have to leave in 5 minutes. When you get this, tell me how many messages I had written to you. I didn't keep track. Oh well. I hope you have loved receiving all of this mail. Robert, I do want to be with you eternally and can't wait for that day. Because of the bad news it might have to be sooner or maybe even later (yuck). I can't wait to hear your voice again. I know I am getting mushy because even the songs on KBER remind me of you. Everything does. Whenever I mention something, Katrina and Brian have a joke that it somehow connects to you. And it does. It is a good thing I am going home in a few minutes because then I would see the sun setting behind the mountain and it would make my heart ache even more. I don't know how you bear it. The first night I had even heard of Brian, Katrina was on the phone with him and I had come back from typing to you on the vax. I had also seen the sunset on the way home. It made me really sad. Katrina and Brian kept telling me that I was moping. I don't know how you do it. The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that you will be here soon and that I will be yours forever some day. I miss the times we were together. They seemed all too few. I miss going to movies with you, I miss going up to watch the stars, I miss going to the duck pond. I just plain miss you. Is that OK? If I were saying this Katrina would tell me that it sounds like I am "wining" again. Her and Brian used to make fun of me, but now they know how it feels. She used to brag that Brian was local, but I see them not wanting to let go of each otehr just so he can go home. She knows she will see him tomorrow, but she can get mopey when the songs come on the radio too. I wish I had my CD Player up here. I wonder if my dad has checked on it. (sorry wandering mind) I don't ever want to let you go again and that is why it will be so hard to see you off at the airport in July. Especially since I will have to do this all over again and I know how hard it is. Isn't once enough? Well I better go it is 20 after 8 now. I will be home late. I love you. And I can't get enough of you. You are like Lay's Potato Chips "just once isn't enough," or the pringles, "once you pop them, you can't stop." I love you and I won't stop loving you and so you will just have to deal with it. Time to go again, Someday I won't have to go. I love you --Wanda

Diamonds

Robert, As far as I am concerned, and I am not reading anything into it, clarity is more important than color. Color can always be offset by the color of the band anyway, flaws can usually be seen (unless you can hide them with a prong). The next message is "diamonds revisited" so I am off to respond to that before I say anything else. I will say this though: I love you. Wanda

honeymoon, again

Robert, Skiing isn't out of the question . . . YET. I don't know how much I will like it so we should wait and go together fall quarter or shortly after. As to the week of our honeymoon. Again, you have brought up something that relates to the bad news I don't want to think about yet, but I must by Monday and I will talk with you about it Sunday. I am going to respond to a few more messages and then I will be returning home so I can get studying done. I have to do some studying sometime today. I love you and wish I had time to write to you. Oh yeah, time. At first it felt like you were pressing the issue of my getting off on Friday. It isn't that I want to, it is a mattter not being able to. However it is a possibility that I will look into. I want to spend as much time with you that I can. How can you doubt that. I miss you too much as it is. I know you understand where I am coming from. I also understand where you are coming from, if I had it my way I would be rich enough so I could fly you up here every weekend, but I am not rich enough. Darn!!! I love you and you will be in my thoughts as I study. Love, Wanda

History

Robert, I will be taking history and I won't like it at all. Actually I have been to academic advisement. I went a couple of quarters ago. They couldn't tell me anything that I didn't already know. As to finishing up with my AA. That is part of the bad news I have to tell you and so I will wait to finish this conversation up Sunday. Until then I can't wait to hear you voice. I love you. Your one true love, Wanda

fun

Robert, We will have loads of fun while you are hear, and most important of all: I will get to be with you. I honestly can't wait. Time doesn't pass quickly enough. I love you and we will see how things work out with me getting work off. Friday is my first day on the job. When we lay out the schedule I might be able to have input on that week in particular. I love you and will do whatever I can to spend as much time as I can with you while you are here. You can count on that. I might be able to respond to all of your messages tonight. I don't know but we will see. I love you completely, Wanda

fireworks

Robert, I am gald to hear that you mmight be going rafting. When we lived in South Carolina we went white water rafting. I had so much fun. I don't know when the fireworks are for the 24th. I have no clue. School is out for the 25th because of the 24th so I am assuming that they will shoot them Monday. I do agree though, it would be fun to watch them together. I am getting into my "I miss Robert" mode. I miss you a lot and I have 12 other messages from you left. I will reply to them all but I don't know how much time I will have so some might have to wait until tomorrow. Remind me Sunday when I talk to you to tell you about the bad news. It has to do with the Temple and Winter quarter. I am not sure what to do and now I am kind of paniking. I want to read your next few messages so I will save writing a long message for last. I love you so much. I can't wait to be with you. Love always, Wanda PS. Katrina is now officially engaged!!

late letters

Robert, I found a letter that you wrote at 6:05. It didn't get to me until after 9:30. The vax is so slow. However, it is still faster than other mail. If it weren't for the fact that the vax is my fastest means of communication to you, other than the telephone, I would never be caught on it again. It is having very bad lag time. Oh well, at least I can write some kind of a letter (even though two or three sentances go by without me knowing what I have written). I have more mail from you that I am anxious to read. So I will send this one now and write more later, besides, if you are there and can talk this letter will notify you that I am logged on. I love you very much and am always thinking of you. Love Wanda

C

Robert, I would love to work in your group, but what are the prerequisites for taking C? How many hours is it. I am already going to take History. Yuck!!!!! I am going to take your advice and finish off my associates as soon as possible. I am not quite sure what else I need, but I REALLY don't want to take history. It is a subject that I always had trouble in. I have done well in it before, but I really have to buckle down. Katrina said, "I love history, I'll help you." To tell you the truth I don't know how much of a help she will be. I REALLY don't like the subject. I don't know if I can stress that enough. Monday is when we call the Touch Tell and get our appointments. I will be figuring out my schedule tonight. I am so afraid that because I am taking history next quarter that my GPA will have to suffer again. I got a C+ in Micro, but I knew about that and I got a C+ in Zoology, I didn't know about that. I got two A's on my first two tests. I must have done really bad on my third test and my final. Oh well, I was with you, but I can't let that happen again. You are calling me so I will write more later. Love Wanda

last one

Robert, It appears that I have just read the last email message that you sent me. I love you. (if I type lvoe one more time I may just leave it, you know what I mean). It was great talking to you, and I miss you even more. Bro. Valletta's institute class is really awesome. I enjoy all of the classes I have had immensely. You should take one while you are here in the fall. I am going to because it will be the last one I will be able to take for a while. (See what I mean, I am not counting on being here in the Winter. That is really strange.) Anyway. I am taking Acts - Hebrews right now. Brother Valletta wades through things so deeply. Today we covered verses 1-4 in chapter 9 of Acts. We started with Chapter nine because 1 - 8 are covered in a religion 213. Today was the second day of class. He won't be teaching the "prison epistles" because he got them to allow for a Friday class in the Fall just for those epistles so he can cover them more deeply. Hopefully my schedule will allow for me to take that class. Well the lab is closing in 5 minutes and I have to respond to Sean's letter. I haven't read it yet. Sorry these have been short, but I will be able to write a lot more tomorrow. As long as you know I love you, I will be happy. I love you so completely, I am not even scared of letting myself fall for you as hard as I am. That is very risky because I haven't let myself fall at all. I am trusting you a great deal. (Not that I begrudge any of it.) In fact, now that I am opening myself up to someone, I would hate to have it crushed. But you haven't given me any reason not to trust you this far yet. I love you and am looking forward to seeing you in the three short/long weeks that follow. Love always, Wanda

Dreams

Dear Robert, In the last letter I read, you sent it this morning, you said that you woke up from a dream about me. What happened in the dream? Do you remember? I know that I have dreams, I usually don't remember them, but occasionally I will know that you are in them. I don't remember much more. I don't exactly know what my hobbies are. Yes, I do love puzzles and "bored" games. I especially like challenging games. I like to make my mind work. I guess another hobby I have is math. Even though I am not discovering anything new, I still have fun challenging my mind. John always used to make fun of me for that. He would always comment on me doing the math on his GMAT (or is it GMET, doesn't matter, you know what I am talking about ) program on his computer to help him prepare for taking it. I love math and I think it is exhilerating (sp?). I love to camp. My parents always took us camping for family vacations. Whenever my dad would go on TDY we would just camp on the way there so we could be with him. That way we also got to see a lot of sights. I love anything to do with the Old South. I didn't at first, but my mother made me read Gone With The Wind and I loved it. At that time we were living in South Carolina. We could visit old plantations and see battle sights from the War Between the States (or the Civil War as they call it in the North). When I was younger I often daydreamed about being a Southern Belle. I wouldn't have made it, my skin tone isn't fair at all. However I did learn a lot of tricks that they used back then. Where we lived was full of history. At the time I bucked against seeing the sights so bad, but my mother made us. It was a field trip. We were being home schooled. But now I absolutely adore going to a lot of the places we went to and I miss them. Especially one of the plantations, I can't remember the name though, my mother can. I used to tell my mother, "Do we have to go on these trips? I hate them, you just want to sight see. Can't we do anything fun?" I am glad she made us go because I experienced a land that was full of history and culture in a time long ago. I would have never learned about half of the stuff in the history books. In fact, we often went to the places that are in history books, I just have such a hard time with history that I never would have bothered to learn or read about any of it. One of my hobbis is my friends. My social life. I enjoy my friends very much and they make me happy (especially you). I wasn't going to write long because I have to respond to more mail you sent me and the lab is going to close in 20 minutes. I better write fast so I can read long. I love you bunches. Love, Me

Marriage

Robert, I thought it was cute that your friend, Scott Knell, quoted from Much Ado, and I find it rather funny that the chapter and verse that he quoted (which was only the last half) is the one you had commented about telling my dad. Doesn't everything just seem to match. By the way, when you asked me out it didn't seem like you gave up on dating. You had been out with my old roommate, you were going to ask Edie out and you were still dating Emily. How lonesome were you? How tired of dating had you been? How long had it been? Were you just so used to dating after being an RA that you couldn't give it up Cold Turkey? I am just kidding (in case it didn't seem that way). I am glad that you dated the people that you did. It makes me feel lucky and safe in the idea that you want me and no one else. In case I haven't made it clear, I have chosen to be by your side. I didn't just settle for you. As sung by Boy Howdy in "She'd Give Anything," " She won't settle for less then true love. She'd give anything, to fall in love." I love you and want you to know that it is true love. I have never loved anyone as much as I do you. Know that you are not only in my mind, but you are also in my heart. You are right. Everyone receives the Spirit in different ways. However, by just one person, the spirit may be felt differently for different guidance. I have had the "lightning bolt" revelation. It was, though, a warm lightning bolt. But it came for a different reason. I was receiving knowledge for a different reason in a different way. Answers to prayers likewise come in a different manner. When the "lightning bolt" hit me, it was Heavenly Father's way of telling me that I was going to make it and that I HAD to make it. It was basically a spiritual "kick-in-the-pants" telling me that I was loved, a great deal, and that I shouldn't have forgotten it and that I never should. There have constantly been reminders of this whenever new problems with Steve arise. Which by the way, we will have to deal with sometime. When one prays for truth, a different "confirmation" feeling is felt. When one prays for guidance, we must first ponder it and then he will assist us in knowing when we have made the decision which will further our happiness into the eternities. Any father would want that for his children. I am sorry if it sounds like I am on a soap box (I jsut read it and realized it can be taken many different ways with different voice intonation) I am not. I am trying to tell you that I love you and I know that Heavenly Father is happy with my decision to marry you. It is the decision he would rather I make. I love you and I am not going anywhere. Rest assured, that it IS with you that I am in love and not the IDEA. I want to be with you for eternity, and no one else. It is very rare for me to make ANY type of a commitment with a guy, just because I don't want to be taken when someone better suited for me comes along. But there is no one out there that can fit my needs and wants better than you do. I love you. (My fingers have been having a hay day. They keep typing lvoe instead of love. I have to keep going back to correct it.) Which reminds me. Have you noticed the change. Before I was always skeptical of saying "I love you" to anyone. I wanted to be sure it was really love I was feeling. Do you remember the night you first told me that you loved me? Now it seems like I can't tell you enough that I love you. I love you. I also miss you terribly and I noticed that I am constantly telling you that. It feels so lonely here without you. I am not used to being without you. I don't know why I should be used to being with you. I didn't date you that long before we parted. In fact the "first two weeks" I barely even saw you. It was really the last two weeks that things started to fall into place rather quickly. It seems like you have been away for longer than I dated you, but then again it has only been 3 weeks, although these past three weeks have seemed like three months. and can't wait for these last three weeks to reach an end. I love you and miss you. I believe I still have more mail to respond to, including one to Sean that I haven't read yet, but all the others are from you. I love you. Your girlfriend, Wanda

I Miss you

Dear Robert, I told you what I think of our honeymoon, now it is time for you to decide. I will tell you what I think of ideas, but that is it. Our first vacation together I am sure will be fun NO MATTER WHAT WE DO (even if we go to the WWF fights, although I'd rather not to) I just got new mail from you so I am going to let you go to see when you wrote it, I won't check it until I can respond to the others, but if you are still on, then I want to talk to you. I love you so much!!! Don't forget me whilst I am gone. Wanda

Talking

Robert, It is probably good, for my sake, that you didn't get to respond to the talk I left yesterday. I had a paper due this morning, and the only time I could have typed it was for the half hour that I was in the lab last night before my math class. If you would have responded I wouldn't have gotten my paper typed. I wish that I hadn't checked my mail though because I hadn't gotten any from you and it made me wonder all night until this morning. I am going to go because I only have 15 minutes to type. I will be able to type more after my class with Valletta. He is really cool. My class gets out at 7:30 and the Business lab is still open, I think that it is open until 9:00, but I am not sure of it. I will write you when I get out of class, I love you and that is never going to change, so you have to live with it now, unless you're not going to ask me or I tell you no, but I am pretty sure you will still ask me and I know without a doubt that I will say yes. I Miss You. Love always, Wanda

honeymoon

Robert, You asked where I would LIKE to go on our honeymoon. There isn't really any SPECIFIC place I would like to go, but I do want to go somewhere scenic. I want to see pretty things. Maybe we could find some place to go camping. Wait a minute the ground is hard. But we could go hiking in the mountains or something. Camping wouldn't be that bad. I don't know. I am on this hiking kick. The hike up to donut falls was really cool. I loved it a lot, although it is really short, only about 15 minutes. There was a really cool hike up to these hot springs in either American or Spanish Fork Canyon. We could sometimes see people camping along the way. I am not sure how camping would be for a honeymoon, I haven't been on one before. There are also a lot of other places we could go "sight-seeing." I am not talking about the tourist sight-seeing. Kind of like Washington D.C., or Washington state for that matter. They have some really pretty sights. If we were in South Carolina I could show you all the sights, but that is on the other coast (kind of like Washington D.C.). I don't know how long you want to take off. If you did want to go to the South East Coast, they have a really awesome beach. It isn't at all like the California beach. In Cali it is all yucky. Actually we could stop at Six Flags over Georgia if you are interested in Theme Park ideas as well (you mentioned Disneyland/world). That way we could make it a combination of things. It really is up to you. I will be happy, pretty much, as long as I am with you. It is 5:30 and I still have to respond to 4 other messages from you. I love you and want to be with you. I used to think there weren't enough hours in a day, but now I think that there are too many. I miss you bundles, but I will see and talk with you soon. Love always, Wanda PS. I had to tell you that "I Love You" just one more time.

vax

Dear Robert, You said in the message that I just read that the vax wouldn't let you log on yesterday. It was probably the same problem that they had today. I don't like it when I can't talk to you. I know that I have should be getting more messages from you, but they haven't come in yet. I wish you were there so that we could do a talk, but I want to see if I can go a whole week without calling you on the phone. Not that I don't want to, I want to with all of my being, and it takes everything I have NOT to call you. The one thing that reminds me I shouldn't call you is that we are going to be poor as it is and there are some things I want to do in the beginning of July to use all of my spending money. I am so excited to be married to you. Like you, I am growing used to the idea more and more each day. When I was writing my paper for computer science, I caught myself saying "and my husband." Oh did it ever feel wierd saying that, but it seemed to come naturally (weird all the same). I find myself not planning on not being here in January. Something just left me a message, and I didn't get to see it. I will end this message, I will have plenty of time to say all of the other things I want to. I will always love you. Forever and ever. Love, Wanda

It's working again

Dear Robert, I came to the lab earlier, but I couldn't get on. I was so-o-o-o-o-o frustrated. They said they had closed down the system because they had gotten a bug in it. Oh well, I can talk to you now. I am going to finish responding to your messages. If you are there (and it hasn't delayed that bad) talk with me. I will be here until 6:00. However, I am willing to bet you have left work by now. You should have seen me. The lab aids were laughing. They watched me check the system every 30 seconds. I love you so much and I am upset that I didn't get to talk to you more. I am so tempted to call you on the phone. I won't. I will be good about it. Reading the other messages you sent yesterday should keep me happy. I love you. Wanda

AT&T

Robert, didn't you know that the rates and times are listed in the phone book? I didn't know until Annette showed me. I thought it was really cool because until then I only guessed. My classes today went pretty boring. I got my paper turned in. j I am not sure how good it is or how well it is written, but I don't think that she is looking for anything elaborate. I am going to go now because you are calling me. I love you. Wanda

I got your mail

Robert, I finally got your mail. The one you sent from the vax got here first. It got here at about 5:30. I had a night class from 5:00 to 8:00. I left it early to go to FHE. I couldn't check it after. I was really worried that you weren't getting my messages. But I am happy that you got them. The lab aid here said that they were having problems with the vax system. Good ol' WSU. I am going now because I have a ton of messages from you to read. I will completely enjoy this. I love you. Wanda

Tomorrow

Robert, You probably have noticed that I tried to do a talk with you. I wasn't sure if you were still at work or not. I have to go to my math class now and I am leaving early from that to go to FHE at Bishop Poll's home. Everyone from our old ward is going to be there. I really do miss them, but I miss you even more. I am suprised that I haven't gotten any messages from you as of late. I usually turn on the computer and have several. If I can get caught up on my school work, and STAY caught up, I will be writing you more and more. Until I get caught up, I have to go to class. I love you and can't wait to be with you again. I love you, Wanda PS. I was listening to the radio while I was doing my homework and Chicago came on. I immediately thought of you, and I miss you terribly. I love you with all my heart.

I love you.

Robert, I just finished writing quite a lengthy letter back to my dad. I hope that he checks everything tonight. I am not sure though. I can't write very long tonight. I am supposed to meet Lisa at 3:30 and before I meet with her I am supposed to have my math homework done. I didn't do it all weekend because I was busy concentrating on more important things, namely YOU. Anyway, I am supposed to have that done and a paper written for my computer science class so I better go. But I wanted to let you know that I love you. Hopefully, I will have the chance to write to you later tonight after my night class. I miss you. Love always, Wanda.

I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

hello

Robert, Along with the three messages that I received from you, I got a message from my dad. I thought it was rather interesting because he quite easily refers to my getting married. I thought it was sweet that he wrote me. I am forwarding the message to you so you can read it. Some of it you probably will have no interest in, but there are parts that you might like. I will write you a message after you get this one.
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Hi Little One-- As you can see it's late Sunday, early Monday. I'm up late fighting the checkbook and all that goes with this family. It has been a pretty hot week with temps all week in the 120 Deg area. Flea has become impossible to live with in this heat wanting to go swimming everyday. It has totally done in her hair and mom had it cut like Chersty's hair however she looks just like C.J. I have to keep on Phil not to call her that. Joey has decided it is time to get a job which I think is a miracle. Phil, besides picking on his sisters, is still connected to the SNES or Sega and I don't think we will get him off until he discovers girls. Cheristin has got nagging down to a fine science. Desi has become more of a socialite than ever. Your mother keeps the A\C running so hard that I will have to get a part time job just to pay the IID as you can see everything here is status quo. Your mother wants me to take some time off work to come up to Utah to start planning the wedding. I wold like to save the vacation time for when you tie the knot. I am thinking of sending her by her self for a week, what we save in electricity will be worth it and you and her can spend some time together planning your wedding. Next time you talk to her, see if you can talk her into it. It's late and I'm going to bed answer me via e-mail. Oh yes Phil says you left a puzzle piece here. Love Dad
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I thought that it was cute. It is odd that my parents are as calm as they are about it. Usually they are uptight and don't like the guys I date. Actually uptight isn't quite the right word. A more correct word would be skeptical. They are always asking me questions, but this time it is different. "It's a sign!" Actually I think they can tell that things are different. Oh well, I will write again. I love you. Wanda

sorry

Robert, I don't know what happened with our talk session. The library is closing and I wanted to leave you a message. Know that I love you and will talk to you Sunday. I miss you terribly, but you are away. We won't have to endure this soon. I love you very much, Wanda

hi

Robert, Don't have much time to write now but I wanted to send you a message letting you know that I read the messages you sent me. I will be on the computers at 4:00 if you want to write. I am confused. You said you would be away most of the time after 1:00. Then you wrote me at 1:00 and told me you had been waiting for me to log on so we could talk. Oh well, hopefully we will talk at 4:00. Love ya, Wanda

it worked

Robert, You are a genius it worked. I don't have a lot of time. I had a 15 minute break and now the lab is closing. I have to be back anyway. I love you and will write tomorrow. Love, Wanda PS. Yes, I did get the postcard you sent. I love you very much and miss you terribly.

I love you

Robert,

See, I told you that I would write you. I printed all of you letters out that you wrote me BEFORE my system downed. Now I will always be able to read them. You wouldn't believe how many of them their were. There were 44. I am going to get a binder and some sheet covers and keep them, kind of like a scrap book. I know that it sounds kind of goofy, but I love you. I usually keep letters that people write me, what should be different on the vax? I forgot that I was supposed to go to financial aid. I still have time but I am not sure when personel closes. I am sure not for a while, but I better go so I can make it home in time without my stomach having a fit. I forgot to eat this morning. Usually that wouldn't be a problem, but with these pills I am supposed to, and with the green ones I BETTER. Well, I will write you later tonight.

Love,
Wanda

I think it's ok again

Robert,

I tried to send you a message from the beas building before my class started. I couldn't write a normal message without all of this interferance. I thought it had something to do with shorty and I working on my files and deleting some, but now it is ok. I got back here to the business building and I was told that shortly after I left here this morning the vax crashed. That must have been what was happening. The vax keeps freezing on me. I don't know if it is because a lot of people are working on it or because it is still haveing problems. I hope that it is the first because you will be calling me shortly. Hence, I better go.

Love ya,
Wanda

help

Robert,

I am not quite sure what is up with my account. I am not sure if you can get, o can get or read this account. However, I can now read messag messages from you. I am in class. Talk to you late\

Love, Wanda. I I love you.

It's me

Robert,

I have I short while before I have to go to class. I miss you terribly today. I can't believe that I can't read any of the email messages that you have sent me. You don't know how badly that depresses me. I sent a message to Sean and Katrina said that he called last night. My phone number was in the message, he didn't have it before, so I am assuming that I can send mail out. I didn't have a problem at all staying awake in finance today. Actually I think it is because I took a drink with me and only allowed myself a sip every 5 minutes, that way I wouldn't drink it all in the first 10 minutes of class. I would much rather talk about my spending/not spending money than purchasing stocks and bonds. I don't care if I understand how everything is calculated. If we purchase any securities, it will be under your control. I find that stuff extremely boring. I want to know how to better manage my money. If there is a better way. I have been more frugal this past year than in my whole life, and there still isn't enough money for everything that needs doing. In fact, the only thing I haven't been frugal with as of late is my phone bill, and I don't care about that (actually I do care, but wanting to talk to and being with you far outweighs being rich). Today I have to remember to register for institute and to pick up my IR from the Psychology department. When I pick up my card, then I have to run more errands to fill out more paperwork. Oh JOY! I really think that I will like this job. However, it is work study and work study doesn't pay much. The government is really stingy with it's money. I was thinking about getting a second job off campus. I could get one just for the side. The problem is however, and Rob made me aware of it, if I get a second job, that means I have to cut down on time with people. I usually would be OK with that, but that would mean that I might not be able to spend the weekend with you when you come down. I don't think I would be happy with that. If I waited until after you came down, I would only have a few weeks until the break before Fall quarter. So I am stuck. Oh well, I only have to survive here for a couple of months. Well, I should run my errands now so I can get to my class on time. If I get my mail system working before Sunday, I will have some computer questions for you. If it doesn't work by then, I will ask you when you call. Well, I better be off now. I love you with all my heart and will ALWAYS love you. My feelings are constant, unchanging, and I will be by your side for always. Don't forget that I am here. I love you.
Wanda

hello, again

Robert,

It is me again. I guess you can tell though. I tried to "talk" to Sean, but he had logged off. Oh well. If you can figure out what is wrong, please do so because I will be very lonely if I cannot read any messages that you send me over the email. I love you so-o-o-o-o much, I can't even describe it. I feel lonesome. I know I just read messages from you this morning, but just knowing that I can't now and won't be able to for a while makes me sad. Does that make sense? I really do hope that you can get my messages. I will be equally disturbed if it doesn't let you read them. Although I guess that if you are reading this, they aren't crypted for you, so there is no need for this paragraph, but all the same it helps to write down how I am feeling. I love you very much and wish that I could type longer, there is so much I still have to tell you, but they are shutting down the computer lab. I don't know why it is 5 minutes early. I will miss you tonight knowing that there are messages from you waiting for me to read that I can't get to. I love you.

Wanda :)

AAHHHHHH

Robert,

I think I got more messages from you since my last message in distress, but I cannot tell because the computer won't let me read them. I don't know what went wrong. It is being so impossible. No one else seems to have any problem. Just my account. In reference to the last letter from you that I got to read, I haven't been telling everyone we're engaged. We're not. . . yet. I wonder if Emily knows Katrina. Katrina has heard us talk over the phone and I wonder if she has just assumed that we are engaged. I don't know. Also, you said there were some questions which I had not yet answered. Were they specific ones. I think I remember some, but I am not totally sure. Usually I get involved in answering another aspect of your letters that I forget there was another part. I would go over them if I could, but my account won't let me into my mail. It is so frustrating. I don't have a clue as to what's up. I am not even sure if MY letters are getting to you!!! You can't even tell me if they do because I can't check any messges that are sent to me. Wait a minute. If you get this message write a short response to Katrina telling her to inform me that you got this letter. You can reach her at "KWALLES." My math class went by so fast today. It is the only one I enjoy. Probably because it is math. I remember most, if not all, that we are doing right now. It is so much fun. I wish that my other classes were this way. They probably would be but I have a fun class, math, to contrast it to. I miss you so much. Just walking down to the Wattis Building I saw the sun. I was reminded of Monday after I finished typing to you. I walked home and I watched the sun go down. The only other time that I had seen that was when I was with you. It made me miss you all over again. I can't look at the moon, the sun or the stars and I am reminded of how much I love and miss you. I can hardly wait for these few short weeks (or long weeks, depending on how you look at it) to end so I can be with you again. I thought that you seeing me off at the airport was hard. I don't want to know how hard it will be to see you off. Especially after growing so close to you and being with you again. I am going to want to go with you right then. I won't want to wait until January. I helped Tim set up an email account today. You will be happy I did so because now he will be able to write to a girl that he kind of likes up in Idaho. He asked me on the way to the computers, "so how is your boyfriend." He also said, "With all the excitement you had about calling him last night, you guys must be getting pretty serious." I told him that you and I were and then he commented that he was glad that I really loved you. He said that he was glad that I knew what I wanted and I wasn't just giving you mixed signals until I figured it out. That got me wondering, did I do that at all? If so I am really sorry. I am glad that you stuck it out, just as glad thtat I stuck your "two week" period out. I am so happy that we have allowed things to go as far as they have. To be honest, I am surprised that neither of us backed out earlier as we saw that it was getting serious. I have a past of doing that. I tended to not tell the guys that I didn't want it to get serious, and so they always assumed it was going in that direction, when I didn't see anything in them at all. I rarely expected a relationship to develop out of any of the guys I dated -- and it never did, until now. I am glad it did. Hopefully you will get this tomorrow. I can continue to send you letters, but you can't mail me any. That is kind of depressing on my part because I can't hear from you. Writing you, however, kind of eases the pain. I wish it were possible to just get another account until this one gets fixed. I would have taken Emily's (no, you don't know her), but I gave her account to Tim to use because the computer told him that he didn't have the correct social security number. I am so upset. It's not fair!!! (I sound like a little child throwing a temper tantrum) I hate the stupid vax system. If it weren't for the fact that it was my only daily link to you and an occasional link to my father, I would avoid it all together. Along with my three M-Th classes, I also am going to take an institute class. I already know which one. It's on Tuesdays (oops) with Bro. Valletta. He really is a great teacher. He teaches you all the in depth stuff. He says that it is up to us to find the application and apply it in our lives. He really goes in depth. I am also going to take the summer chorale with Katrina. I love to sing (it doesn't mean I do it well though). I also have my flute lessons every Tuesday. I also want to talk to Bishop Poll and find out if I can get a key to the organ and the chapel so I can continue to practice. My mother said that usually they let people do that because they encourage people to develop those kind of talents and skills. I haven't talked to your parents yet, or Mike. I will try to get a hold of your parents sometime this week. I want to call them before they call me. I will also try to get a hold of Mike this week. Well, I have mail on my account. I won't be able to read it. It is from Sean. I am going to try to call him and see if he can tell me what is up with my account. I will write more later, and if I can't I will definately write tomorrow, even if I can't read any of your messages. I love you.

messages

Robert,

I was going through messages like you asked me to. I only went through one so far. I knew that it wouldn't have any unanswered questions, but I thought that you might like to read it. I usually read your messages and then write to you. Sometimes I get wrapped up in something else and so I might forget a question or two that you might have really wanted answered. Therefore I will start to go through each one bit by bit. I did enjoy reading this and I think you will too.

I love you.

Wanda

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Wanda,

Well, it's after midnight and I thought I'd drop you a line before retiring for the evening. I've taken your advice and taken steps to protect myself... so if I seen sometimes cynical in regards to matters of the heart please understand from whence it comes. Nature provides to all creatures a defense. Therefore, do not concern yourself with these things. I am hoping that you will write to me over the summer. I generally get to know people a lot better over email... besides it is something I always determined I would do. If absence makes the heart grow fonder then so be it. Sometimes absence makes the heart go elsewhere and in that case it is best. 'Tis best to find out sooner then later that someone you like is not so enamored of you. Absence is sometimes the best way of determing this. Anyway, thank you so much for being my friend, it really means a lot to me. I want you to know that I really do appreciate your going to the luncheon with me last week. It is not every person that will accompany another to a somewhat uncomfortable social gathering purely as a matter of friendship. You're a sweetheart. I'd say you were a "sweet spirit" but that is instant DEATH to most friendships. After that is said, it is OVER! *grin* Sorry if this message is a bit long... it is late at night... cynicism has crept in amongst the shadows of the eve... and I've just finished watching Much Ado About Nothing and Cliffhanger. NOT an advisable duo? Much Ado was terrific, albeit hard to follow - thus causing one to concentrate. Cliffhanger, however, does not so strain the mind. It also leaves you with thoughts equally as fluffy. Oh, what did Richard Nixon have that Natalie Wood could have used? A good stroke! Did you hear that John Bobbitt can't go to public swimming pools? Yeh, they always have those signs that say "no cut-offs allowed!" Well, have a super day and write if you get time. Thanks again for being such a terrific friend and I look forward to seeing you on Monday, circumstances permitting. C'ya later, - Robert. =) PS I'm still convinced it was a duck! *wink*

what's up?

Robert

I am having problems reconnecting with you. If you are still on and get this message, please respond in some way.

I love you,

Wanda

I am here

Robert,

I am here. I got your message, I read it and was late for class. I logged off and left. I am sorry I didn't reply, but I wanted to call you tonight. I will be checking my mail, so tell me when you will be home so that I can call you. I want to clear my last message up. Guess what!!!! I just got out of my job interview. I got the job. I am now working again. Well actually I won't be working until the first of July. That is just fine with me however. She said that I could continue the job into next year. I didn't tell her though that I might be quiting come fall. It doesn't pay that much. Oh well, that's because it is a work-study job and they never pay much. The job I had at the desk paid more then any of the jobs I saw in the book. I will go now because it is 2:00 and I have to run home and get the paperwork for my new employer to sign. However I wanted to stop in the basement and send you a little note. I love you. Nothing you have said has changed how I feel for you. The only thing you could say to change that would be for you to tell me that you don't love me anymore. I will return to the lab after she has signed the card and has taken care of the paperwork. If you get my message please tell me when I can call you tonight.

Love,
Wanda

I Love You

Robert,

You should know that I love and trust you. You can log into my account anytime you need or want to. In fact, I probably wouldn't even notice. I wouldn't have known anything if you hadn't of said anything. Robert, there is nothing in my vax account that I could possibly keep from you. I can tell you anything and everything. I asked you if I influenced you for good and you replied that you wouldn't ask me the same question. Well, tough beans. I am going to answer it anyway. I am always a better person because of you, especially when you talk of "spiritual things." I am sad though that this is more the exception than the rule -- though it makes me happy that I am an exception in most of your dating life. Robert, never worry about my feelings for you. I know I don't express it like you'd like me to, but I love you. Everyone has both masculine and feminine "traits." I guess that's where the masculine side of me tends to appear. You always hear of problem marriages because the HUSBAND doesn't say "I love you" enough. Maybe the roles are reversed here. I love you because you are you, no other reason. All things that I love about you are combined into you and that makes you who you are. (Does that sound redundant or what?) If I tell you why I love you it won't sound as poetic as when you say it, but here goes: I love the fact that you are open and honest about your feelings. Many people try to mask the way they feel, but your's are true. You are exciting and full of life. I love the way you feel about and live the gospel. I love your contentment and patience. I love the way you write, the way you talk. I love the way you sleep. Most of all though, I lvoe the way you love me. You are right anyone can make anything work, but the difference is I want to make this work. I am not settling either. I chose you to be with, it wasn't arranged. I do love you and my intended actions usually speak louder then my words. I can NEVER keep how I am feeling bottled up inside. Ask any of my friends... I am extremely easy to read. In fact, if you could read me now I would be saying "I love you and want to be with you always!" Try to realize that I put a lot more faith and trust into actions and words. Robert, you said that you'd always expected things would gradually happen. They may have happened fast, but still gradually. I didn't fall for you this hard overnight! That would be impossible -- for anyone. It takes time and love to develop the relationship we have. You said, and I quote, "I had planned, as I had mentioned earlier, to propose at a certain time. However, if it will help your peace of mind - or if you would like it better - I will shorten the time. I'm beginning to feel that we should just get on with it so that we can make concrete plans for our future instead of all the theoretical stuff." I think you're right. It will be a lot easier to plan, and both you and I would feel easier. Now that I know you are the one I want to marry and should marry, it is pointless to wait. You keep talking about me being back with my friends and social life, how can you say that when my most important, loved and dearest friend is in Los Alamos? I love you and no matter how hard I try, I can't miss you any less. It is almost 9:00 and I have to go. The lab is closing. I love you.

Love Me

Hi, it's me!!!

Robert,

I got out of my classes early. Did you get the message I sent you between my first two classes? If not it basically explained why I didn't write you this morning. I had to do it really quickly though because I only had 5 minutes, and I did make to my class in time. Oh by the way, I went to all of my classes today. Well... not all... though I didn't skip. One of my classes today isn't until tonight. It is my math class from 5:00 to 8:00. I will be able to zip over to the library, it will still be open, and write to you. I just love getting messages from you. The only bummer is that I can't hear your voice. Yes, I do love you as much as you love me. I would have said, "as much, if not more," but I feel so loved by you whenever I correspond with you. I don't know if I can compete, however I can keep up because mine also grows stronger every day. You said you were concerned that I am among my friends again. Actually I am not among all of my friends again. I WILL NOT find someone new (I am rather happy with someone old -- no pun intended) and I will not bore of, tire of, or forget you. I love you!!! Well I better get off of this message. I miss you and I will write a lloonngg lleetteerr tonight.

Wanda

PS I love you.

Phone Messages

Wanda,

Just a quick note that I forgot to include in my last message - I called your apartment to leave a message on your machine but your roommate was home. Again, thank you for calling me and leaving a message... you're the coolest!

XXXOOO,

- Robert. =)

RE: I miss/missed you

Thank you for calling this morning... I was excited to come home to a message from you, albeit a short one. I miss you and I'll probably call you later when you're on desk to say "hi." I won't talk too long because teh desk is an awkward place to hold a phone conversation (in retrospect I'm beginning to remember my days on the desk and the difficulties inherent with it), nevertheless I just want to hear your voice.

Haven't heard from Jenn... seems she's busy at the times I'm not and vice-versa. I used to talk with her at work but she's on some detail and won't be available for a few weeks.

My COBOL final was today... and he put off the second half (which we were supposed to have today but couldn't because we had to finish up yesterday's which was interrupted by some silly person pulling the fire-alarm) until tomorrow. So I have to come onto campus tomrrow just for the COBOL final... then I'll probably come home and go to the gym later, just before we have lunch. What time tomorrow did we agree on? 1:00? Gallery. I have $31.00 on my card that I need to finish up... so I REALLY need your help! *grin*

I'll call Mike and Nancy today and mention the July camping trip and see what they say. If they don't go then we could either double with Jenn and Eric or just go by ourselves. We can't go with both couples because Mike HATES Jenn... she's to masculine/domineering for him.

Oh, I told Mike Enriquez that he and I could go to the movies Tuesday night ($1.00 night)... I'd love for you to come with us if you can make it. Let me know if you have time... but don't jeopardize your finals.

Time to go and study, I miss you and today I'm a bit panicked (it is, after all, my turn) - so plase drop me mail if you have a chance. I love you and I'm really looking forward to Friday. I'll call my boss today and let her know that I'll be leaving early... I'm sure she'll love THAT! *grin*

Love always,

- Robert. =)

Yawn!

Wanda,

Sorry if I was a little quiet last night... it was no reflection on you. I started getting fatigued... lack of sleep and all. I'll probably nap for a bit today and then try to finish up the last of my projects.

I just realized that as you'll be here on Saturday ('till noon) I won't be able to study for my Law class... so I'll take my Business Communications final that day instead. Five hours. Little studying required prior to the test. I'll take the other on Monday when I have time to study until I'm sick!

When is your last final? I'd love to take you to lunch this next Wednesday if you'll have time. Jenn will be sad... I'll tell you why later. *grin*

I'm very thankful to have you in my life, you are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. Please don't worry about things not working out... as long as we are both committed to making this work then it will. The only time relationships don't work out is when one person or the other (or both in some cases) loses interest or is unwilling to overlook things. I may experience (as you may) brief periods of disinterest... that's normal and is no cause for alarm. I am not going to let you go because I love you with all my heart and I'm committed to making this relationship work.

If I seem a little anxious sometimes about getting engaged... please understand that I'm trying to do it before I lose my nerve! I'll relax a bit, but please accept that I am completely in love with you... and that feeling grows stronger every day. Lust decreases with time whereas love grows...

Thank you for inviting me over last night, I really had a great time. You really take kidding well... so I KNOW you'll fit in well with my family! They've grown accustomed to kidding me since... well... birth. I'll write more later, just wanted to drop you a note before heading to class and let you know that if I seemed at all distant last night that it is a result of my getting little sleep and certainly NOT due to decreased interest in you. I love you more with each passing day.

Love always,

- Robert. =)