12 . . .

Robert, It is 12 days and counting. I am so excited and anxious for you to get here. I can't wait to see you again. I am glad that you never tire of me telling you I love you. I DO love you and so you will have to put up with hearing it again and again while you are here. You said that we had talked the past 4 days, it WAS 5, and now it is 6. I talked to you Friday night (about Tim). I also talked with you Saturday day, Sunday (our only scheduled time), Monday night (I wasn't doing anything for the holiday), Tuesday night (I was scarred) and last night. I don't mind talking to you at all, I just don't want to look at my phone bill when it comes. It will arrive in about a week. Yuck!!! I will be fine. I just got paid (it was only for 8 days, but pay nonetheless) and it will be able to cover my bills, hopefully phone bill included. If it doesn't cover it, or I want to spend the money elsewhere, I will call my mom. She distinctly remembers missing my dad. Usually I can con Dad out of any amount of money, but Mom will be more useful to my cause in this instant. I love you and can't wait to spend eternity with you. Monday will be the two month anniversary of our first kiss. The one that started it all. A kiss has never had such an impact on my life. I wasn't going to date, I made and exception. When you fed me your "I never kiss a girl first" line, I knew what you were hinting at, I wasn't going to kiss you. I am glad that you persuaded me to do otherwise. It wasn't that I didn't want to kiss you, I did. I just didn't want to let myself get involved in any kind of a relationship that I would have to terminate later. I am glad that I didn't terminate this one. I am glad that I let myself fall. With anyone else I dated, I never let myself fall. The reason you are an exception is because I love you and this is an eternal love, not just an infatuation. The emotions that went with infatuation could always be controlled. I strongly believed in controlling them, mainly because I watched guys not control their emotions with me and it made life extremely difficult for me. I realize now, more than ever, how much Tim would like a wedge driven between us. He wouldn't do it himself, but nonetheless, he would like it done. In fact, I watch him control himself. Sometimes we will be down in the lobby, coincidence, with others, and he will have a strange look on his face. He won't say what he is thinking because they are "just thoughts and they are inappropriate." I am glad that he doesn't say anything to anyone because that would mean he is actively trying to pull you and I apart. He know how I feel for you, he knows how true it is, he knows I want to marry you, and he knows that I have received knowledge that I SHOULD marry you. He does not want to interfere in this, he does however want me to find him "a Wanda." I love you, you know that and so does Tim. He also knows that there is no earthly chance he will ever have me. He knows how strung up on you I am, for that matter, so does everyone else. You are all I ever talk about. My class is starting right now and I forgot about it. I am off, I love you, Wanda