Reply2

to rush into having children. I think 1-2 years is a reasonable period of time, but after we are married and we see how things are going we may just move up this time frame. However, I need to know how you prioritize your schooling. If we have children it will be very difficult for you to continue with your schooling - both in regards to time and in regards to finances. >My schooling will be completed. Whether we have a child in 1 year from now or 5 years from now, I will have it done. After we are married I have a good two years to finish my schooling. In the eternal scheme of things, that isn't too long. By changing my major and by going summer quarters (or semesters) I will not be stressed with the heavy loads that I am facing now. Additionally, I think I will enjoy school much more after my generals are completed. I won't have to deal with any English courses or any of the humanities. >One to two years is a reasonable time period. I don't think we should close the issue, and you're not, thank you. I don't want to end up where Katrina and Brian are. Katrina is so baby hungry. They are going to jump right into having children. He isn't done with school and neither of them have a steady income. I think the only thing that will save them is his family has a lot of money. It may be necessary to wait more than two years, but the opportunity may arise to have them earlier too. As long as we don't close the issue, then we can talk about it if circumstances change. I'm concerned now because I thought we had agreed to wait - but now you are saying that I agreed to wait and you are simply going to let me decide the issue. I don't like that, it makes it sound like my decision. Now I am feeling hurt. >Yes, I am going to let you decide the issue. I didn't think that this would make you feel hurt. You wanted to wait and I want to make you happy. If waiting eases stress for you, then I will wait with you. Please tell me why this hurt you. I STILL do not know what your thoughts are - I STILL do not know what you want. Are you willing to sacrifice your degree to have children? Do you think it's wrong to put off having kids for 1-2 years so that you can finish your schooling and we can be reasonably stable in our marriage and in our finances? >If I could not have both - children AND a degree - I would choose to have children. However, if waiting allows me to have my cake and eat it too, then I will wait. Stability in our marriage? I know how you feel on this. I don't think we should put kids off to add stability in our marriage. The last guy I dated felt the same way. Because he did, I seriously contemplated it. My personal opinion is that it is from the devil. They are words of the world. Anything that needs stabilizing can and should be done while we are courting. When we get married we should be able to adjust to each other and our new life together relatively well because we have chosen correctly. These words aren't meant to be harsh or hurt you, but you asked how *I* felt. Now you have it. I love you and I know that we will be happy and that we will both love our children when we have them. Do you want to start having kids right away? I STILL am waiting to hear what it is that you want. You've told me what I want: that I wouldn't MIND having children (instead of my WANTING them), that I want to wait 2-3 years, that I have made the decision and you are abiding by it. This has really hurt my feelings, Wanda, if you didn't agree with what I was saying then why didn't you just say so? >You told me that you wouldn't mind having children after we are married. You need to want them as much as I do and sometimes (only sometimes) it sounds as if you don't. Robert, you HAVE made the decision and I will abide by it. I want you to be happy and I don't want you to feel stressed. You will be the priesthood leader in our home and the decisions will ultimately be made by you. I trust your judgement and I know that you listen to the spirit. I will abide by what you say. This shouldn't hurt you. I love you and this is why I will follow you. I don't know - I feel like my words have been twisted or at least