Reply3 misunderstood

It's not that I wouldn't MIND having kids - I WANT to have kids - I just didn't want to have them right away. I thought that 1-2 years was a good time period. If you don't feel this way then TELL ME and we can talk about it further. Please don't assume that I feel a certain way - ASK me about it. My point is this: we have to decide when we want to have kids. Just waiting and seeing what happens is NOT a wise move - kids come whether you are ready for them or not. Heavenly Father has a lot to do with it, but so does nature. I don't agree with the theory that you just have sex and leave it up to Heavenly Father to decide if you'll have kids or not. We have the power to decide some of these issues - so we should. >This is why we must plan for them. I am confident that we will do fine. As to whether or not I would want to go two years without sex: THAT one hurt. I figured sex was something that BOTH partners wanted - if I'm the only one wanting it then there's no sense in doing it. We aren't animals - we don't just do it to have kids. It brings two people closer together. I want to have sex, I assumed you did as well. If not, then let me know ahead of time so that I don't plan on it when we get married. I'm sorry, but I am feeling REALLY hurt by what you said. >You can plan on having sex. This comment was meant to lighten the heavy atmosphere, but it only did the opposite. Just as our love isn't one-sided, neither is the desire for sex. Sex is one way we haven't been close together and I desire to share this with you. I want to keep you close to me physically, emotionally, and spiritually and sex is a great and fun way to do this. (Smile dear, I love you.) You know when you ovulate, so you are largely in control of the decision to have children. I have to be able to trust you in this. We need to agree when we are going to have children so that we will both know - so that there is no confusion. Do you want kids right away? Do you not want to wait? How important is your schooling? Can you go to school when you have children? Could we afford this? >Robert, you are the one that receives revelation for our family. What better time to start than with the decision to start a family. I will trust you. If you feel that it is best to wait, then I won't deceive you and I will abide by what you say. You ask "Do you not want to wait?" Robert, I will wait, and if it gives you peace of mind, then I will gladly wait, but I don't want to continue to wait. I don't want to wait for you to OK kids as Jenn is waiting for Erik to ask her to marry him. If I know that you want children, (just as I knew that you would ask me to marry you) then I will not worry because I know that eventually we will have children. I'm sorry, you led me to believe that your schooling was of the utmost importance - second only to my career. However, in the past you have made comments that made me wonder if this was the case. It seems to me sometimes that your schooling is more important to you than my career. (Like coming to Los Alamos, for instance) Now I'm not sure how important your schooling is to you. I'm just very confused because you're not telling me what you want. I've told you what I want - and now I feel as if you've thrown it back in my face. >Priorities: #1 - your career. Your career is what will be supporting me, our children, my education, and your continued education. #2 - our children. If I had to choose between children and an education, then I would want to have children. Maybe thsi is my heart talking instead of my head, but my heart is following the Spirit. #3 - schooling (yours and mine). Since we can have both if we wait to have children, we are taking care of this second and our family third. You're saying that I wouldn't MIND having kids when in fact I WANT them. That's part of the reason I asked you to marry me - the other reason is that I love you and don't want to be apart from you. I want us to share our lives with each other, I want us to be close. If we could wait 1-2 years, you could finish your degree and I could (hopefully) pay off my student loans.