Vital Marriages

How Do You Keep Your Marriage Vital? --more from Brent A. Barlow John Cuber and Peggy Harroff noted in their study the phenomenon that the vitality once present in many marriages has either diminished or is missing altogether. Almost all marriages start out with a high degree of hope, enthusiasm, optimism, and vitality. As young couples repeat their vows on their wedding day they epitomize such love and commitment. But, as Cuber and Harroff observed, something happens to many couples along the marital path. For one thing, it is very difficult to maintain the high degree of personal attention and romantic involvement that brought the couple together. The authors call this loss of attentiveness and interest "devitalization." The same study indicated that devitalization in marriage is usually dealt with in one of two ways. First, as previously noted, the couples may accept it as a fact of life. To them, that is just how marriage is supposed to be. Jobs, children, and outside activities such as excessive community and church involvement often become so demanding that the marriage has to be put on the back burner while either or both spouses try to meet these many obligations. Such couples usually do little to try and change the events trends, or priorities. The other way couples confront devitalization in marriage, though the vast majority of married couples experience some degree of devitalization, many are not content to let their marital relationships give way to the daily demands of life. Such couples make conscious and often creative efforts to keep each other first, even though it means making some concessions or even sacrifices in other areas. Such endeavors usually turn out to be preventative rather than corrective in nature. Has your marriage become devitalized? If so, are you accepting or fighting the devitalization? Think about it. ----------------------------------------------------------- It will probably take a few more messages to finish this section off. I hope you enjoy reading this. I feel that this can apply to us. Not that our relationship has been "devitalized," but because we can look at other marriages and realize that we CAN keep our marriage fulfilling. I think we have an exceptional chance at doing this because we love each other as much as we do. I don't think that others enter into marriage feeling as if they will lose vitality either though. I am sure though, that we will make a concerted effort to remain happy and alive. I don't think it is in either of us to just sit back and watch life happen. I think it sounds as if I am rambling, no point to my letter to you so I am going to send this one to you and start another one to reply to your last message. I love you! Wanda