The rest of the quote

Robert, I am glad I crack you up, I only wish that I knew about what. Is it over the song lyrics I sent you? I do feel that we were made for each other in mind. When Heavenly Father created me he did it with the idea of loving you in mind. I only hope I can do as good a job at loving you as you do loving me. It does feel natural knowing that I am going to marry you. I never expected it to, but I'm not complaining. The vax: I know how to extract the messages, but I don't know how to download them. You will have to teach me how to do this when we get back to Weber (in less then a month!!! COOL!). I thought it funny to read Seans message. I am suprised though that he hasn't written me back, usually he is pretty good at this. No, I don't think he likes you better. He DOES think you are very lucky. He also thinks that you must be pretty great. He trusts my judgement and knows how happy you make me. Electricity/Chemistry: Whatever you want to call it I think we got it. No, I KNOW we have it!!! The grass is definately greener where you water it and I think we will use plenty of water, however I don't want to drown it. I think this goes along the same lines as expecting too much. (Oops! I didn't give you that part yet. Well I will give it to you now. I hope that these aren't boring or to preachy.) ----------------- Brent A. Barlow --------------------------- As I talk to numerous married couples of various ages, I am impressed with the efforts so many have made to keep their love and marriage vital and alive. I once wrote a column in the Deseret News about the importance of keeping a marriage alive and vital. I asked readers to write and tell me ways they have kept the zip in their marriage over the years. I received 140 letters with some good ideas. The vast majority said they simply got away for a few days WC (Without Children!). Some took a short vacation (a second honeymoon, it was often called), went camping, or drove to a nearby city for a day or two of rest in a hotel or motel. Others indicated they did not go on or could not afford extended two- or three-day trips but periodically went out together. Many others simply arranged to spend time together at home, often after the children had gone to bed, to talk and spend some time in mutual activity such as reading, playing card games, or general activity where they were in each other's presence alone. Several other activities were mentioned, such as prayer, weekly devotionals, and church attendance, to increase the overall spiritual dimensions of the marriage and the home. Other joint activities included daily walks or jogging together, participating in dancing or study groups, playing racquetball or tennis modifying (increasing or decreasing) community and church activites, increasing the frequency of touch, giving backrubs, and making a conscious effort to improve their sexual relationship. Following is one letter typical of the 140 I received: Dear Dr. Barlow: I found your article on vitalizing your marriage interesting. Not only was it our fourth anniversary, but my best friend just announced that she and her husband are getting divorced. It caused me to think. We haven't done any one big thing to revitalize our relationship, but we have done several small ones. First, we try to keep communication channels open. This can be difficult at times. But sometimes I just leave small notes around the house to surprise my husband. Frequently we go out. We leave our son with a babysitter and have made it a policy to leave our household problems at home and not discuss them while we are gone. We spend the evening talking about mutual interests, much as we did when we were dating. I have begun to develop my interests so I can talk to him about things outside our home. We have also tried to keep our sex life alive. We are open about our affection for each other and find it easy to discuss these matters. Above all, we try to keep each other in the highest esteem. We care about each other and emphasize loyalty. And our relationship is treasured above all else and above all others. (Back to Dr. Barlow) One wife, however, gave the following caution: I wonder sometimes if we expect too much excitement in marriage. As Archie Bunker once said to Edith, "Bein' bored is an important part of bein' married." I am not saying that we should not try to keep marriage interesting and exciting at times. But I really feel that some couples expect too much. Perhaps we need to learn to enjoy the simple things in life and not expect too much excitement. excessively high expectations in marriage put a lot of pressure on both husbands and wives. (Barlow) She then enclosed the following beautiful excerpt about love from the book War Within and Without by Anne Morrow Lindbergh: Charles is gone again. The three days when he was here were so full and intense it seems they weighed more than the days before or after. And it is difficult to record them. They had that kind of premarriage intensity and preciousness that is difficult to capture. With the dull pain of departure -- like a threatening thunderstorm over an afternoon -- the light is more beautiful on an afternoon like that. The green is more green, the earth more vivid. But this is an unreal light. These days are not marriage. They are being in love, but not the casual give and take, the wonderful blending of silence and communication, sharing and solitariness, being bored and being stimulated, disputes and agreements, the everyday and the extraordinary, the near and the far -- that wonderful blending that makes for the incredible rechness, variety, harmoniousness, and toughness of marriage. Marriage is tough, because it is woven of all these various elements, the weak and the strong. "In loveness" is fragile for it is woven only with the gossamer threads of beauty. It seems to me absurd to talk about "happy" and "unhappy" marriages. Real marriages are both at the same time. But if they are real marriages, they always have this incredible rechness for which one is eternally joyful and grateful. It is strange, I can conceive of "falling in love" over and over again. But marriage, this richness of life itself, I cannot conceive of having again -- or with anyone else. In this sense marriage seems to me indissoluble. ---------------------------------------------------------- That is all of that section. I was going to split it into two more sections, but the part I was talking about was at the end (overexpectations). I find it comforting that we are already taking measures to keep our marriage alive. We have talked about designating time for each other once a week, we have talked about having date night, about not letting the church ruin our marriage, etc. I love you. Expectations: I feel as long as we level with each other about what our expectations are (I will try to do this, it doesn't come naturally -- there's that dumb fatal flaw again.) we will do fine. I love you. I only want to make you happy and I know that you can keep me happy, you already do. I am off to another message. Your best friend, Wanda